I forgot to tell you that last week, Bitchy Resting Face Alex brought her puppy to work. That dog got more women on him than Fonzie did when he walked into Arnold's.
In case you were unsure, I LOVED that puppyyyyyyy! Also, that camera is shitty. Dooce would have images of each detail of that sweet puppy. Each whisker would be evident. Why don't you go on over to Dooce if you're so obsessed with her?
yeah. weee not need your pikee foto critik ass. go see doowse. sifflitik whoore.
I guess this puppy is related to Violet. Or maybe all puppies swear like longshoremen.
In other news, I seem to be having a problem with itchy eyes and a stuffy nose whenever I...go home. Both of my parents are allergic to cats. What the hell am I gonna do if I'm allergic to cats? I'm sitting here right now wanting to pull my eyeballs off and replace them with new, nonitchy ones. I feel like if we took a family vote, Ned would have me put down and not his cat. Am doomed.
Claritin? Should I take Claritin? This is awful. How could you be allergic to something as cute as this?
Iris' little crossy paws kill me EVERY TIME. Did I tell you Lily and Iris were in the hall the other day, sitting right next to each other, and they freaked me out in a Shining kind of a way? Come play with us...
While I'm not rubbing my eyes till they're about to fall out, I am looking at the new girl at work, who I will call Mona Lisa, because she doesn't work full time, and all of a sudden I'll turn around and there she is, or I'll turn to say something to her and she's gone. She's very mysterious. She told me this is the first time in her life anyone's found her mysterious.
The point is, she has June hair, and also an enviable necklace. She is a copy editor, like me; she's not remotely mysterious, like me; she is funny, and we all know I am 100% hilarious all the time; and plus she has June hair, like...June, here.
We are either going to fall in love and have one of those lesbian-late-in-life things or we are going to hate each other's fucking guts.
I think that's all the news I have for you. I have absolutely zero air passages at the moment. Can you just up and get allergic all of a sudden? Maybe I should have one of those prick tests. So to speak. Oh, I have so many horrific things I could say now, but all I can picture is my mother sitting purse-lipped at her computer when she reads anything I wish to type.
"Tsk. Jooooon. That's real crude."
So just know that side-stitching prick jokes are growing inside me. That's it's hard not to tell prick jokes. I keep going back and forth on telling them, but I won't take the plunge and shoot one off.