Last night, Marvin Gardensalad and I watched a Titanic movie. Not the movie where Leonardo DiCaprio is heimliching Kate Winslett or measuring her waistline or whatever, but an old, black-and-white version of the Titanic.
Pretty much had the same plot.
Anyway, in the movie, they kept telling women and children to get on the boat first. And by the way, when did our culture decide that men are less important than women and children? Who made up THAT rule? I know I shouldn't argue it, as I come out the winner in this scenario, but if you look at it objectively, it is odd.
If it were up to me, I would have said put people in the boats in order of attractiveness or something. Which of course would not bode well for The Unsinkable Molly Brown. She was no looker. We'd all be calling her Mollie Brown Who Had to Drown or something.
At any rate, throughout the movie, they had scene after scene of women saying, "No! I won't leave my husband! We'll die together first!" and between you, me, and the 400 other people reading this, I kept thinking, "Dang. I would so be high-tailing it for a lifeboat." And yes, I think "dang" to myself.
Then I felt guilty that I was not one of these noble women who stuck by their man.
Hours later, we were going to bed, and the lights went out and all was quiet for a minute. Then Marvin said, "I want you to know. That if we had been on the Titanic? I'd have stepped on your head to get onto a boat."
Oh, I was so relieved he is as awful of a person as I am.
Do you like how in that story I had the lights going out as though we have hired a stagehand to turn them off for us?
I just got back from Charlotte and boy are my roots tired. I had to be there at 9:30, which means I had to leave Tiny Town at 4 a.m. or something. Okay, it was 7:50 when I left the house, but still. At any rate, my roots look good and don't even ask for a picture cause I am too tired to look for the camera. There is a nap in my future. I may even just fall off this chair and join Lula in her bed, right here.
But I did want to mention, my health? Remember how this blog was supposed to be a health blog? Well, guess what? My health SUCKS lately. I have been so busy with that book (which is GONE and in the hands of FedEx and I never, ever want to see it or The Chicago Manual of Style again) that I have not run. And today? On the way to Charlotte? Stopped at Bojangles for a ham biscuit. Then on the way home? Stopped at A&W for a coney dog.
Mmmm. Healthy. Guess I wouldn't be making it onto the lifeboat using my own system, would I?
So, despite the fact that The Nester and I are going to The Cheesecake Factory tomorrow, I am going to go back to attempting health all over again.
Cheesecake counts as dairy, right?
