Bye Bye, Pie!

2008, a Year in Review

Don't you hate people who say, "See you next year!" on December 31? I have been saying it all day. I am sort of professionally annoying. So I thought I would take stock and make chicken soup, and also kind... Read more →

I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you--well, don't kill me. I'm so thin right now.

So, yesterday I went to work, which was silly because there were approximately .008 employees in the whole company; I 'fessed up to the woman whose book Tallulah ate; I had a coughing fit while going on one of my... Read more →

Marvin's Hellman's

Is everybody back from vacation yet, or do I have to wait another week? I am not ON vacation, so this is boring for me. I do not like getting seven comments instead of 27, and I know everyone who... Read more →

Ask June Part Two, Electric Boogaloo

In all the "guess what I got for Christmas" excitement, I slap forgot about it being Friday and therefore Ask June day. Today I went on the random number chooser thingie and chose the following queries. Oh, but before I... Read more →

Amy Winstonhouse

Well, Christmas has come and gone another year, and as usual I have garnered 4,952 presents. I am sorry. I am an only child. And by the way, Marvin outdid himself not only on trying to find every way possible... Read more →

Ave Maria Antionette

Okay, I can't believe there is anyone out there who wants to read my stupid blog today, but then again I find it hard to believe anyone wants to read my ridiculous blog any day, so there you go. Happy... Read more →

Answering Meme. But not a meme.

Faithful reader Meme asked me a bunch of questions in yesterday's post, so I thought I would just answer them as today's post. Here are her questions. I do not think they count as Ask June questions: This post has... Read more →

And my head I'd be scratchin'...

It has been a long time since I threw random photos in, so I will do that today, because The Nester recommends photos in one's blog and she gets 79 million readers a minute. I had many pressing things to... Read more →

SAHP

It is 2:34 p.m. and I am in my pajamas with my hair lookin' pretty. I certainly hope Hugh Jackman became an Avon lady and knocks on the door today. I'm BUSY. Doing HOLIDAY things. What do you want from... Read more →

Wheel of Torture

Well, the holidays are seeming kind of official now. For those of you who work in offices, did you have your last day today? Pretty much everyone did in my office, with the exception of ME, the NEW girl, and... Read more →

June Answers

I won't be ignored, readers. In what universe did I think the questions would trickle in? You asked June, and now June will answer. Apparently, all these questions have made June refer to herself in the third person. I wanted... Read more →

Ask June

Faithful reader Catherine of Our Lady of Perfection--and by the way, she is also a proofreader and who is angry she didn't think of the blog name Our Lady of Perfection for her own self?--was waking a loved one this... Read more →

The cooked turkey pops up to say hi.

My day is all topsy-turvy because I had a dentist appointment first thing and apparently it has driven me to use phrases like "topsy-turvy." On Barry Gibb's website, which I'm sure you all frequent as regularly as I do, he... Read more →

In honor of my cotton blogiversary (or, do I have more time on my hands than anyone else you know?)

I say! Is it my two-year anniversary of blogging? Good show! Some of your snobbier people say beard equals weird, but I have never believed that. Hope to be hoppin' down your trail next year! Read more →

The traditional gift is cotton. Go buy me some cotton.

Man, how did the weekend get over with so quickly? One school play at Marvin's school, another French film, 200 hours of Christmas decorations and it's over! One of our neighbors left chocolate truffles on our doorstep yesterday with a... Read more →

It's beginning to look a lot like Kermis

Winston, on my lap today. Do you enjoy my heart pajamas? You know what was a brilliant idea? The idea that, hey, I'll just pop into Target for some Mucinex. On SATURDAY, DECEMBER FOURTEENTH. Still, it was nowhere near as... Read more →

Comment of the Week

I will be back later today to show you my balls hanging in my yard, so right there you should be rapt at your computer all afternoon. In the meantime, I have updated the Special of the Week and it... Read more →

It's more than a cold. It's a blogging opportunity.

I went to bed last night at 6:43 p.m., which is the nice thing about having a cold, you get your rest. In fact, it may be more than a cold, and right there I have turned into my father.... Read more →

Hooray! Hoorah! We're on our way to the ball!

And this, my friends, is what washing dry, coarse hair with clarifying shampoo will do. Warn your loved ones. Wow. So, hey, have y'all been remembering to check my comments of the week, affectionately referred to as Special of the... Read more →

Many balls

We are in for a tragedy in about an hour. I was just in the shower, which I know is sexy for you right there, and I used Marvin's shampoo. Marvin and I have different shampoo; I get mine at... Read more →

In which June discusses many pressing issues of our time

I just do not want to hear one more thing about that Angelina Jolie and that equally annoying Brad Pitt. Do you? Although I saw some clip from the Oprah show where he said their blond-haired girl wanted to be... Read more →

Miracle Angel Baby Runs a Half-Marathon

Tank, my carpool pal, ran a half-marathon this weekend, and some of you were cheering him on in the comments. He left a comment updating you all, but I have taken said comment and pasted it here as a guest... Read more →

Our really cool apartment in LA, and the stay-at-home actor idiot who drove us out of it

My mother mentioned in the comments the other day how she missed our really good apartment with the big bay window and I said I do too and then someone else said, "What apartment?" and really a whole other world... Read more →

But as for Santa and me, we believe

Okay, Christmas cards, done. Even though I ran out halfway through and had to go to the card store and buy more. Which by the way has never happened to me EVER and I figured out it happened this year... Read more →

All Apronstrings, All the Time

I am in the middle of Christmas cards. Not literally. I'd have to be awfully, you know, flat. But I am in the middle of WRITING them, and it is at times like this that I wish Marvin had insisted... Read more →

Dogged

Look at this terrible creature. Okay, she's sort of cute. And devil-eyed. Nevertheless, she is a DREADFUL being who did MANY BAD THINGS while we were out EARNING HER KEEP today. Tallulah decided to become a consumer of books. Literally.... Read more →

Why

does it have to be "play crappy music on the radio day" all the way to work, and then right when you're pulling in, they play Anything, Anything by Dramamrama? Read more →

Ode to Joy

Awhile back, Marvin's aunt--who I will call Auntie Garp--and I got into a pertinent discussion about Joy perfume. Actually it was about two seconds long. She said, "Marvin's grandmother used to wear Joy." And I said, "Oh, I have always... Read more →

Upchuck Wagon

Do you want to know who irks me? I mean, other than the friend who STILL HASN'T CALLED ME and people who say "supposibly"? My dog walker. That's who. Every night she leaves me a note telling me what came... Read more →

A few days, my patoot

Let me ask you something. If a friend says, "I'll call you in a few days," how many days is that, in your mind? Like, let's say they said that to you on, oh, Friday morning. What day w0uld you... Read more →