So, yesterday I went to work, which was silly because there were approximately .008 employees in the whole company; I 'fessed up to the woman whose book Tallulah ate; I had a coughing fit while going on one of my walks and I might have peed myself a little; and, oh, I didn't get nominated for a 2008 Weblog Award.
That nice Nester nominated me for a Best Hidden Gem award, which I don't know about you but whenever I think of a hidden gem award I picture a beautiful emerald placed precisely in someone's bung hole. Just so. And every time I say that to someone they looked shocked and horrified, so perhaps I am the only one whose mind works that way, so maybe that explains right there why I was not nominated for an award.
Anyway, there were 269 people nominated and only 10 finalists were picked, and I am not one of them, and I feel like Jennifer Beals when she first walked into the ballet academy with her work boots on and everyone else had on heels and ballet slippers and now I am on my way to the nightclub where I will splash myself with water sexily and Nick my boss will take notice of me and somehow get me into the ballet academy anyway.
Do I spent entirely too much time watching movies, you think?
And I really thought the woman at work whose book Tallulah ate was going to be gone until next week along with the other 99.998% of work, but I found out she was there, so I had Marvin bring her new book and a nice bookmark I bought her at that mansion I toured last week, and then Marvin and I had lunch, and who do you think walked into the restaurant? Was it the elegant women whose book Tallulah ate? And do you know I knew I'd see her at lunch? I just knew it.
So I dashed out to the car and got her book and bookmark. My plan was, I was going to give her these things right then and there and let her kind of see that the book looked just the same, then fess up after lunch when Marvin was gone. So I went over to her booth and she was lovely and gracious as she always is, and right in the middle of our conversation, Marvin lumbered over and said, "THE WHOLE THING WAS MY FAULT!"
The gracious woman and I stared at Marvin, she in confusion, me in horror. "This is my husband, Marvin," I said. "Nice to meet you," Gracious woman said. "We'll talk to you later," I said, pushing Marvin out of the booth.
Geez Louise. The rest of the lunch consisted of Marvin and me at our booth, bickering hissily.
When I finally worked up the courage to go the Gracious woman's desk and tell her the whole story, she first of all laughed hysterically and thought the whole thing was just great and said to go home and pull that dog's tail for her and she couldn't have been more wonderful about it, and then she said, "Oh! Is THAT what your husband was talking about when he said it was all his fault?" I said yes, and that he had blown my timing, that I had wanted to wait until he wasn't there. She said, "I thought he meant the bookmark you bought me was all his fault, and I had no idea what that meant."
So I am somehow going to find a way to blame Marvin for my not getting nominated for this Weblog Award. It is all his fault.
