My day is all topsy-turvy because I had a dentist appointment first thing and apparently it has driven me to use phrases like "topsy-turvy." On Barry Gibb's website, which I'm sure you all frequent as regularly as I do, he thanks his wife for going with him on the topsy-turvy ride through pop stardom these past 38 years. And you know, even though she stayed with him from Jive Talkin' through Islands in the Stream (yes, he DID write that. Shut up), if I were her I'd have to divorce him for saying topsy-turvy. But now I just said it and I have to divorce myself.
As I was leaving this morning to go to said dentist, Tallulah kept heading to her leash, thinking we were going to work and dog day care, and I do not know why I thought I could reason with her about this. "No, honey," I told her. "I have a dentist appointment for my permanent crown, and then I'll come home and take you to dog day care after that."
Do you really think she was catching all the logistics? All she did was tilt her head when I said "dog day care" and look incredibly disappointed when I left without her. I saw her looking through the window in a forlorn manner when I pulled out of the driveway and I actually considered taking her to the dentist and asking Nancy the receptionist there if Lula could just hang in the lobby reading Highlights while they put on my Imperial Margarine crown.
I always think the putting-on-of-the-permanent-crown part is going to be not scary but you know what? It is. There are still pointy instruments and that suctiony tool and cement and it hurts when they shove that tooth in. Plus also too, I have to go in next month for a cleaning. I don't know about you, but by the time they finish with my cleaning I am in a fetal position and my back is soaking wet.
Have I mentioned how much I enjoy the dentist?
Anyway, thank you for all your comments yesterday about when you started reading me and whether you read all my posts or just jumped in in the middle. I liked the person who said they just popped up in the middle like a done turkey. As of this writing I have 109 comments, which, dang! You never know what thing is gonna make people comment and in turn make me stick a boll of cotton on my arse, and I just like the word "boll." And you didn't have to say such nice things to me, such as that I am funny, which you know right there will mean I will never be funny again because I will FREEZE UP with the pressure and all.
So I think what I will do is continue to repeat myself and tell old stories, so that people just tuning in will have SOME idea of what I am talking about, and if you have read all my posts you can just bleep over me when I talk about something you already know.
Oh! I just remembered that I can chew gum again! With that temporary crown I couldn't and I had JUST BOUGHT a pack of Ice Breakers Ice Cubes gum. I feel just like George Bailey being given a chance to live again. Merry Christmas, movie house! Merry Christmas, emporium!
