Bye Bye, Pie!

Both a little scared, neither one prepared, comment of the week

Why do I even know the lyrics to Beauty and the Beast? Anyway. I have awarded the prestigious Special of the Week award to Chacha today, who had something pithy to say about KY. Special mention to Ree, who also... Read more →

Wake June, then Ask Her

Ask June is sleepy, so she did not even select her Ask June questions using the random pickerizer that she usually uses, rather Ask June just picked the first five unanswered questions that popped up. And this is an actual,... Read more →

A Charmin-g Story

I had to go to Target tonight, to refill my prescription for that lovely elixir Topamax, which not only removes my migraines but also makes me look as though I may have rickets. I have now lost FIFTEEN POUNDS taking... Read more →

Was just emailing with Sleeping Beauty

and thought of another one to eliminate. 24/7. I beg you. Let's never say it again. Read more →

I just finished watching What Not to Wear

Can we please do away with the following phrases? Comfort zone. Outside of the box. Fashion forward. Push the envelope. Thank you. I do not mean that we can do away with the phrase "thank you." I'd like to keep... Read more →

Blood sugar crazy

So, maybe I sat in the parking lot today and waited until Blood Sugar Sex Magik was done playing before I went into work, which meant I got in at 8:04, but do you think that means it was ENTIRELY... Read more →

Chaka count let me tell you what I'm gonna do, will you count for me if I count for you.

Thank you all for thinking of me while you were in the shower today. And if you didn't get a chance to do it today, do let me know tomorrow. I particularly liked the woman who gave birth in the... Read more →

Chaka count

I need to know this crucial information. When you are in the shower, will you please count how long it takes your hair to get completely wet? Report back to me right here. Thank you. Do it like this: one... Read more →

Oranges and Lemons

My friend Amy from what I want to call "back home" but what I really need to call "Los Angeles" Photoshopped the Aretha hat on my head in yesterday's post. Here, don't get up. Somehow, that picture got me thinking... Read more →

R-E-S-P-E-C-T the comment of the week

As much as I get a kick out of my own self, it's that time of the week to get a kick out of my commenters. This week's award goes to Gladys and...Gladys, who tied with herself. Also, J was... Read more →

Ask June, Quad Eight

In my hometown, they opened the first multiplex cinema in the 1970s. It had four theaters, so they named it The Quad. I remember my father and mother and me driving out there before it opened, because my father had... Read more →

Oh...

...and having watched reality TV for five hours straight yesterday, let me ask you this. When women cry on those TV shows, why do they dab their eyes with the Kleenex and then look at the Kleenex? Yes, of COURSE... Read more →

Illin'

I'm sick AGAIN. I think this is the fourth time I have been sick since Marvin started his school year, and I do blame all those Typhoid Mary children for bringing me all those germs, and also the fact that... Read more →

Fwd: Fwd: Fwd This is so cute!

I got put on the Social Planning Committee at work. This means I help plan the throw-downs, the bashes, that we have quarterly, where we celebrate whoever had a birthday and we get a little report about the company. I... Read more →

Snow day

It snowed in Greensboro last night, which sent everybody into a panic. All schools were closed so Marvin got a day off, and I didn't even have to go in until mid-morning. So we played. I know those of you... Read more →

I have a dream that my house is tidy

I am just quickly writing you in the middle of house cleaning. I have the day off for Martin Luther King day. What is too bad is that Martin Luther King isn't alive to tell us what he thinks about... Read more →

Cherry for the pits

Shhh. Don't tell Marvin. I had to use his deodorant today. Marvin gets really skeeved out when I use his deodorant, which in the grand scheme of being married 10 and a half years is kind of weird, if you... Read more →

Hey, aqua dress

First of all, we have us a new comment of the week, which of course on this blog is called Special of the Week, because I have to be annoying and make everything about pie. And I know I am... Read more →

Inquire of June

Really, I've been bristling with excitement to get to Ask June. Let's whisk ourselves off to the first question. Nosey...Picker? asks, "What is the single grossest thing you have ever done?" Nosey, I have been thinking about this one since... Read more →

Prelude to Ask June

Today is Friday, in case you have been in bed all week with the curtains drawn, so that means we are due for another Ask June, which I will do tonight when I get home. I just wanted to let... Read more →

The financial crisis hits home

Who knew a little thing like, "I don't watch American Idol" would elicit over 50 comments? I'm telling you, this show is a phenomenon. And for those who said why don't you watch it and give it a try, I... Read more →

American Idle

Someone emailed me that cat/dog diary again. I cannot recall exactly what I threatened to do if I received it yet another time, but it may have involved shoving chum into my behind-end region and jumping in a shark tank,... Read more →

Here's the scoop

I have a new comment of the week, and this week's commenter fits in nicely with my pie theme. That's all I'm saying. You will have to click on Special of the Week if you want to know more. I... Read more →

Stupid things I forgot to tell you yesterday

1. I forgot Ask June on Friday and I forgot Comment of the Week on Saturday, making last week's winners winners for even longer. They get to hold their scepters and sport their crowns extra time. And they get to... Read more →

Ask June, and her little dog, too

Holy mackerel, Friday came and went and I forgot all about Ask June. I blame Patrick Swayze. Before I begin, let me thank those of you writing in to ask about Francis, particularly my mother-in-law, who seems to think asking... Read more →

The stars at night are big and bright

Patrick Swayze having to go to the hospital with pneumonia made me sad, and it also made me think about myself. I know you are stunned. They announced that he was in the hospital at this critic's convention that is... Read more →

I turn to stone when you are gone I turn to stone

When I was a swingin' single gal in Seattle (that was alliterative), I had a cat (and it is kind of too bad I didn't have a salmon, but I kind of did, actually. There was this big fish store... Read more →

Email between Marvin and me

To Marvin@Underpaid Teaching Job.com: The good news is that Valentine's Day is on Saturday this year, so you don't have to send me any pink roses at work. The bad news is that I like this. To June@ Gas at... Read more →

Jumbalaya

I've got no time to talk to you, girl. I just got home because it is raining cats and cats, which has caused me to have a headache of gargantuan proportions, and I have to get all cute because my... Read more →

Marvin Hawk Speaks

Now, hey! This is important! Do I sound like your seventh-grade gym teacher? Listen up, people! Remember when I did not get to be a finalist in those weblog awards last week? Well, guess who did? Chatting at the Sky,... Read more →

Sith right back and you'll hear a tale. Okay. NEED to get over the word "sith."

I haven't felt like posting. I am in the cavernous cavern of depression. The gaping maw. The something else large and dark and inescapable that I can't think of because have I mentioned I am a trifle blue? My grandmother... Read more →