It is 10 o'clock at night and I just barely got here, mister. That's what Marvin's students used to say to him when he substitute taught back in LA. He'd say, "Okay, everyone get out your books" and the students would be mad that he wanted to start with the learning, you know, right away. "I just barely got here, mister!"
But really I did just barely get here. I met up with the other June--or got up with her, as they say here in the South. "I'll get up with you next week, over yonder! I just barely got here!"
Anyway, the other June and I went to a class in Australian wine today. They made us drink upside down. BAH! Cause, see, Australia is on the other side of the earth? And the toilet water swirls the other way? Cause it's on the other side? On the other side of the mountain? Did you ever see that depressing movie, The Other Side of the Mountain? Sad. I have never skied because of that movie. Well, that and I don't care for careening down icy vertical pieces of land.
But, really. There is all sorts of fancy wine in Australia and apparently they wanted to serve us 92,000 sips of it. I eventually asked for a thingamabob to toss out some of my wine, because they were giving us so much and I had to drive home, for heaven's sake. And go to work. And not make out with the other June and lift my shirt to get beads and such. Crones Gone Wild!
So when I got here, I sat down at the computer, as I am wont to do, and I noticed I couldn't access the web cam. Y'all know how I can love me the web cam if the mood is right. So I called to poor Marvin, "WHERE'S THE WEB CAM?" Of course, he had no idea. So I fishwifed him in here and made him locate the dang thing, then I realized I really didn't NEED the web cam, but now I felt like I had to use it or lose it. And by "it" I mean my front gumline, seeing as Marvin hauled himself in here and looked at 8493048459038585 doo-dads on our computer.
Hey! Hi! Its me! With Jimmy Page's hair!
Then I decided it'd be more interesting to take pictures of me and the pets. Junesie and the pussycats, as it were.
Hen stare at you. Hen hate life with Jimmy Page. Please come get Hen.
DOOOooo go on, mother. Tell me everything. Once you get your cornea out of my eyebrow whisker, I mean.
Heyyy! Lula not pussycat! Why I here in web cam?
There is nothing better than kissing Tallulah's velvety ear. You must trust me on this. Also too, when I dropped Tallulah off at dog day care this morning, there were THIRTY-SIX Jack Russell terriers there! They have been rescued and all need adopting!! How cute was it to walk in on THIRTY-SIX Jack Russells? Of course Marvin said no. Have you met his stone heart?
I'd link you to dog daycare's web cam again, but Marvin said tonight all the dogs were gone, gettin' fixed. Gettin' some snippage. My sack's barely got here, mister!
Okay, really? You thought I was gonna pick up all 260 pounds of Francis and bring him into the room where the evil DOG is and take his picture with the web cam? I appreciate my aorta, thank you. Did not want it dug out by cat claws. But look how happy Fran looks to pose with me! Not at all terrified and bleak about life!
Okay, I must rest. I'm just barely getting there, REM stage!
