My father has never seen It's a Wonderful Life, and never gets my references. I do not understand his kind.
Don't THINK CafePress gives these mugs to me free. I have to buy them like all y'all all. Okay, I really have to stop saying "all y'all all," because it's one of those things I say thinking I'm amuuuuusing, and then I'll say it in a job interview or something.
I discovered my mug on the porch after I came home from my pressing lunch at the Mellow Mushroom, where I met with my book club, only to discover that not ONE of us had read the book this time. And by the way, the bruschetta at The Mellow Mushroom is delish. Get it.
But you know what? Our selection for next month is The Help, which is what we're reading over here for OUR book club. Honestly. Will the surprises and suspense ever end on Bye Bye, Pie? (Click on Mince Words with June if you want to know about my book club.)
As you can see, me and my nose tore into my CafePress box as soon as I got in the door. I did not even remove my coat. And let's discuss my gray roots, can we? Geez Louise, I just had my roots done the week before Christmas. Isn't your hair supposed to slow its growth during the winter months?
The other thing I did today was my run, which NO, I did not do at 6 a.m., because are ya high? Are ya Whitney Houston, over there? Crack is whack. So is getting up to run at 6 a.m. in the dead of winter. So is making a Whitney Houston joke from 1999.
No, I decided to run in the afternoon, that bruschetta weighing heavy on my innards, and I said, hey! Why not take crone's best friend, my faithful dog?
Once I finally got my coat off and my running ensemble on, I noted our efficient watchdog had not shown herself to me at all that afternoon. So I went in search...
...of old high-on Lu, over there. Who was baked? And feel free to just lounge on the inside of my robe. I don't mind. No we DON'T have any chocolate-covered Doritos, geez.
She really didn't seem enthused about the idea of our whip-fast run. In fact, she kept suggesting we watch Wizard of Oz with the sound down, while we also play Dark Side of the Moon.
But I just.said.no., and off we went.
And okay.
You know how you see people running with their dogs? And the dog runs right at their side, usually some simpering breed that actually MINDS, such as a yellow Lab or a golden Retriever?
Have I ever told you how much it bugs me when people say, "golden Lab"? THERE IS NO SUCH THING. It's either a golden RETRIEVER or a yellow LAB. DANG.
Anyway. Noble man and beast, running as one, like the wind. It's almost like poetry.
Yeah. Tallulah and me? Not so much. First of all, she would PULL, as hard as she could, to get to the next inch of grass. Because apparently that next inch is gonna be where the action is. She's like a New Yorker or something. Always looking for the next new thing. And when she stopped doing that, she'd put on her brakes, because something needed a LOT more sniffing. It was not a blow and go, no, sir. It needed careful investigation.
At any rate, we ran through four songs on my iPod, which I was using to time us (I kept adding up the length of each song. Johnny Cash has really short songs), until my stupid iPod ran out of power. Why does everything run out of power after eight seconds?
So then I had to run and count minutes in my head and pull and catch up to the dog and basically it was a really good time. Remind me to take old Bong Hit Lula out with me next run.
Here we are after. I punish the dog by sticking her in the eye with my hair. The Dog Whisperer recommends it.
There are two pictures of Mr. Horkheimer in the background of this photo.
Anyway. I am selling the dog and also my wares on CafePress, and for those of you who already got your shirts and such, email me a photo and I will expose you on my blog! You could even put on your new t-shirt and come sleep inside my robe! That makes for an excellent photo.
P.S. Just as I wrapped up this fine post, Faithful Reader Paula Hookers & Blow (see what you miss when you don't check the comments?) sent in a photo of her caffeine-addicted cat, Simon, and his Bye Bye, Pie! mug.
Simon hate. Coffee cup empty. Simon whine endlessly and look at you cross-eyed. Simon Siamese. If you pleeze.
