I have had many odds and ends, or odds 'n' ends, because you know how I like that, to tell you. This time to mark them all off I will use background-singer noises.
Mmmmmmm! Yesterday I threw caution to the wind and spent eight dollars on Jergens Natural Glow Express tanning lotion. It is supposed to fake tan you in a hurry, because I am a busy executive. I put some on last night and really expected to look like Billie Holiday this morning and I think I look exactly the same. Perhaps I am being American about it, and having no patience, but they did use the word "Express" in their title. I am so gonna put a flower behind my ear and shoot up now.
Ahhhhhhhhhh! I have found a new site with which I am obsessed. It's called Your Status is Annoying, and people send in other people's irksome Facebook status updates, and then we all look at said updates and laugh at them and poke fun at them. As if all of our own Facebook status updates were not self-centered and assy. Oh, but wait till you get to the guy who keeps announcing that he's purging people on Sunday. What a tool.
Woahhhhhhhhh...I just totally found a typo on the back of my Jergens Natural Glow Express tanning lotion. There is an extra space in "natural-looking" so it reads "natural- looking." And I am sitting here starving to death because I can't find enough proofreading work. Yes, I will email them, don't worry.
Yeahhhhhhhhhh. Speaking of Facebook, I know I have said this 20 times, but if you are a reader of this blog and wish to Facebook friend me, please tell me you are a reader of my blog rather than just randomly being a stranger friending me. Some guy just tried to friend me and it said he was mutual friends with everyone I went to high school with, and believe me, I remember every ludicrous moment of high school other than that time I drank the half-pint of Southern Comfort by myself (hi, mom), and none of us from high school know this guy. And his mustache.
Word. Okay, I really never listen to songs where the background singer says "Word." I have been on this new medication for my migraines, and it is giving me very vivid dreams and also making me feel kind of nauseated. It's fun! The other night I had a dream I was sleeping. Now, how depressing has my life become that I had a dream that I was sleeping? At any rate, I also had a dream where I was telling someone all of my favorite things, and I said I loved chocolate-covered espresso beans and ice-cold chardonnay in a tall glass. Right there are three things (chocolate, coffee, and alcohol) that I cannot have. My poor subconscious is jonesing.
Ooooooooo. We have had several suggestions for the next book club. What say you? The suggestions are: Eat, Pray, Love (which I have read but would read again); Major Pettigrew's Last Stand by Helen Simonson; and Breakfast with Buddha by Roland Merullo. Please look them up and let me know what you think.
Wooo! Wooo! Okay, the only background singers to sing, "Wooo! Wooo!" are the Pips, but whatever. Now I can't remember what I was gonna say. Oh! Yes! The Sex and the City 2 movie is coming this week, and I wish I could just be passed out in a coma until Thursday. I am standing here beside myself with excitement. My friend the Other June and I are going the day it opens, but I am going by myself at like 10 a.m. at the very first showing. Because I have no patience. Meet my tanning lotion.
I guess that's all I have to tell you. It was all of pressing importance. I have real-life book club today so I have to actually put on clothes and leave the house. Too bad I will NOT BE TAN. Stupid extra-space Jergens.
