An update on the hair. Since y'all are obsessed.

Apparently, you are all still interested in my hair, which just goes to show you there is no telling what will fascinate you people.

We're coming up on hour 72 since I had said chemical straightening treatment, which means I can (a) wash it with the $9,000 shampoo they want me to use and (b) do the 30-Day Shred. Or do Shrek for 30 days. What is it we all agreed to do together, again?

Anyway, here is my hair, in an unretouched photo from this very morning. I have not even brushed it yet.

Love it! I also love how you can see my glasses are seven feet thick. But isn't it cute how they're light blue on the inside? How much extra did I spend for that feature that no one sees but me?

The word "unretouched" has always bugged me. Why not just "untouched"? If it's unREtouched, it must have been touched at some point. Seems deceitful. I didn't cheat on you a second time!

Also joining me at the computer this morning, by the way, is my now constant co-writer, Francis Carport.

 
  

Did you know his last name was Carport? That's because when we found him, as a two-week-old screeching kitten, he was hanging off a vine--upside down--on top of a carport. So now that you know his last name you can Google him and so forth.

He has definitely moved from always being on his pink chair to always being next to the computer, which is a pain in the arse, frankly. He is forever planting his lug-ish self on the keyboard, and accidentally Googling 111111111111111... until the computer freezes, or turning the screen off altogether, or setting caps lock without me knowing it and in general I wish to behead him.

Poor Fran.

In other news, I start my job in four days. Eeek! Mr. X, my new boss, called yesterday to make sure I got the employee manual and such that they sent, which gave me an opportunity to say, "The offer letter said to ask for the HR person at 9:00, but should I just ask for you at 8:30?" and he said yes. Crap. So I guess I do go in at 8:30.

I have picked out my ensembles for the first three days. Because there is something seriously wrong with me.

First day, white shirt, black pants. Maybe after I can wait tables. And yes, I was thinking maybe I'd iron it first.

Second day, coral shirt, turquoise necklace, brown pants. Splash of color! Woo!

Day three, might as well break them in early with the "most of my clothes are pink" thing.

Wearing with black pants and pink kitten heels.

I really don't have to get this dressed up at this job, but I figured at the beginning I would, then start wearing this blue robe every day on week two. Then week three is when Francis can come lie next to my work computer.

What say you?