Oh, I am FURIOUS at Marvin and he doesn't even know it. I had a dream he liked someone else. And you know how it always happens in dreams, where you are EFFING LIVID and the other person's all, "What?" They never get why you are so mad.
Wait till he gets home. Oh, and in the dream I called her. The mistress, I mean. Oooo, I told her off! I said, "You ever been married?" She hadn't. I said, "Then you don't know the work and commitment that goes into a marriage. You don't know the bond we have. How dare you come along and try to destroy that?" I like how in the dream I blamed her and not annoying cheaty Marvin, who is the one who should have been being faithful, not this poor Jezebel with her Daisy Dukes and her sparkly tank top. That's how I pictured her. In reality Marvin kind of likes redheads with poor attitudes.
Anyway, her reaction was, "What?"
Why does everyone in my dreams not react to me?
Although I am certain you are fascinated by hearing about my dreams, I am going to stampede to the part where that company has still not called me. Now I think I must have blown it. Because when I left they said, "We'll call you today or tomorrow morning."
Okay, that day and the next morning have happened. And they've been back at work an hour and a half today. They are not beating a path to get to the phone to call me.
Crap. Why I gotta blow everything? I used to get every job I interviewed for. Somewhere my charming personality took a turn and has become repulsive. I think funny and young and cute was one thing, but a funny old hag is another. Did I mention crap?
I am still going to operate under the assumption that they will be calling me, though, so back to work. Yesterday I read two chapters and checked all the mechanicals for another book. I know that means nothing to you but trust me, it's a lot. No wonder Marvin strays, with his workaholic wife.
Before I go, I wanted to share with you (and I hate it when people say "share with you") (like it's a Twinkie, which if it were I would not share it with you, I can tell you that) something someone told me recently, that obsesses me.
According to a whole bunch of websites and I cannot get the original source but it probably comes from Marvin's girlfriend, if the world were condensed into 100 people (I checked this on snopes.com, and tweaked some info based on what they said):
There would be 60 Asians, 12 Europeans, 5 U.S. Americans and Canadians, 8 Latin Americans, and 14 Africans
52 would be female
48 would be male
73 would be nonwhite
27 white
97 heterosexuals
3 homosexuals
33 would be Christian
67 would be nonChristian
Five would control 32% of the entire world's wealth, and all of them would be U.S. citizens
One (only one) would have a college education
Isn't that amazing? I had no idea only one in 100 people got a college education in this world, although Snopes takes issue with this one.
And I had no idea Americans would have all the wealth, statistically. I feel so fancy all of a sudden. With my 1950s ranch-style house and my microwave. And basic cable. Livin' large. But according to this thing, I am. Because if the world were broken down to 100 people:
Eighty would live in substandard housing
Twenty-four would not have any electricity (and of the 76% that do have electricity, most would only use it for light at night)
Thirty-three would be malnourished and without access to a safe water supply
One would be dying of starvation
I guess the whole point of this is that I have an unrealistic view of how the rest of the world lives. Sure, I think there's the occasional person who lives in a village with no electricity, but I see it as the exception. I did not know I was the exception, using my lights all the time. When the lights go down in my city it's because there's a blackout.
What say you about all this? And how should we all punish Marvin? Wouldn't you think after reading this I would realize the world is so much bigger than me and my dream and I should get over Marvin from my subconscious?
What?
