Bye Bye, Pie!

Screen doors, Marvin thwarts, and cupcake floss

You'll notice I'm not at Home Depot, getting my screen door. Oh, did I not tell you I found a screen door I liked? One of you told me they had wooden screen doors there, just like I liked, and... Read more →

Benry

You would die if you knew how many people sent me pictures of Henry with Barry Gibb hair. Faithful Reader Christine sent a really good one in Flicker, which won't let me cut and paste. Stupid Flicker. Here's the link.... Read more →

Dr. June

Well, here I go. Back to real life. Fortunately I don't mind so much. I always think if you get back from a vacation and you're absolutely miserable to be back, you should rethink your life. Dr. June. I should... Read more →

June's vacation pictures. ...Hey! Where ya going?

Remember when the Jews wandered the desert for 40 years? That was nothing compared to me trying to get home from effing Colorado last night. Holy Katie H. Crap. I was in FOUR airports. I traveled for FOURTEEN hours. This... Read more →

I do not exist

I cannot blog today, although clearly I AM blogging, so what a cold-blooded liar I am. But this is my last day here on vacation, so I must, you know, vacation. However, I wanted to check in and tell you... Read more →

The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.

Who watched the season premiere of Mad Men last night? Best line of the show was, "They couldn't even afford to send a whole interviewer." If you don't watch Mad Men, you are already bored silly by today's post. Yesterday... Read more →

Wind Beneath My Grill

In case you were worried sick, I am still on vacation in Colorado. I did not storm home in any sort of family drama huff or anything. In fact, we went to my Aunt Mary's downtown--not that she owns the... Read more →

BOOM!

So other than our car accident, it's been a lovely trip so far. My father drove in from New Mexico, and obviously I flew here to Colorado, and we showed up at the same time, which is exciting. Kind of... Read more →

Silver bird takes me 'cross the sky

Fortunately, I have nothing to tell you today that's gonna piss anybody off. Unless me flying across the country to spend time with family angers anyone. Ooo, what if environmentalists are reading this? Did I mention I'm flying a private... Read more →

Am.I.black.or.white.am.I.straight.or.gay. Controgersy! "Controgersy." Nice. What do I do for a living, again?

Well, that was exciting. We had some fire in the comments yesterday! Okay, it wasn't really all that dramatic. Still. So let's keep going! What say you? I am just like Dr. Laura or something, with all my controversy. I... Read more →

Fat Dog Democrat

You know what I bet you wish? Which was a lovely, not-at-all convoluted sentence. I'll bet you wish I'd stop complaining about how much work I have to do. But as Randy on American Idol says every single time I've... Read more →

Comic Sans

First of all, yay. Okay, so see how I put this little square up here like I know what I'm doing? And you can all say, "Oh, how nice! Our votes mattered! June is a finalist in that Most Ludicrous... Read more →

Mature

I have to work before work this morning, because something that should have taken me 10 minutes on this this computer took two hours last night. Lucy, the first human ever discovered, called. Wants her RAMs back. Because I cannot... Read more →

If you don't want me to kill flies with Steely Dan, don't leave Steely Dan out

Today Marvin and I have been married 12 ridiculous years, which is beside the point because I have a lot to do today. That book about the nature of light that I have been working on? It's due very soon.... Read more →

Am I still 45?

What if now that I'm 45 I'll be all mature and deep and stuff? What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet? The Captain's log. See. Still funny to me. I guess I have not matured yet. So my birthday... Read more →

Forty-fricking-five

Let me tell you something. If you are not yet 45, prepare to not FEEL 45 when you get there. I think of myself as maybe 27. Without the whole Janice Joplin/Kurt Cobain/Jimi Hendrix burning out before I fade away... Read more →

It's 1970 and 1990 and 1979 and also now

It's my birthday eve! I am not calling you "Eve," I am saying it is the day before my birthday. I have already started getting cards. And I've been getting presents for a month. My mother, father, aunt, pal Dottie... Read more →

Piece of mind

Let's discuss my childhood. This was at my GRANDPARENTS' house, with the peace sign pumpkin. For goodness sake. I think it would have been hy-LAR-ious had I turned out super conservative. And, like, a colonel in the Army or something.... Read more →

June is stoned and philosophical. Or you know, not.

I am high as a kite. I am on day two of the experimental migraine drug I am taking from the headache clinic. I was convinced I got the placebo, and after I took it Sunday night and felt no... Read more →

'80s shoes

I cannot believe how many people participated in a conversation about ranch dressing yesterday. It just goes to show you you have NO IDEA what will make people comment. Take, for example, my new shoes, a riveting topic. Today I... Read more →

June goes off on many tangents

Marvin was just out there cutting the lawn and checking on the growth of his peas. He is just like the Marlboro Man in Pioneer Woman. Without the, you know, million-dollar ranch. Am I the only one who finds Marlboro... Read more →

New World Marvin

We are jamming out to Rush, over here, I'm sorry to tell you. I totally feel like I'm 16 and back in Saginaw, cruising down Bay Road, which by the way, why did we cruise down Bay Road? What did... Read more →

June Acquires Things

A few days ago, I showed you the clothes I was planning to wear to my new job, but of course that was before I started there and realized everyone wears shorts and flip-flops, and all the blousey shirts were... Read more →

[2]

Hi. I worked until 11:00, which resulted in me getting a migraine, which I no longer have, but I have the personality of a mop. Won't you come over and push my head along your floor? So I am not... Read more →

The Dirty Dozen

Yesterday Marvin--denier of puppies--and I went out to dinner. And have I mentioned how irritating wait staff is in the South? I think they are being trained to do this, because they can't ALL be this intrusive. You go out... Read more →

Your new issue of Taluprah is here

Marvin created that last one. I'd have never written "& I." Anyway, Talu remind you to vote. Read more →

In which Marvin has spoken, and I missed Saturn

I will tell you about my 4th, not because it was that scintillating, but because I took a lot of pictures and I hate to waste all the energy it took to press that button on my camera. It was... Read more →

Noshing meets tired phrases

I was just reading Vanity Fair, and yes I AM supposed to be proofreading that textbook about the nature of light. Shut up. Anyway, you know what I'm sick of? Using the phrase "the ghost of [insert something here] past."... Read more →

Update: Pictures of the puppy Marvin won't let me have. Because he be mean.

The Other June finally emailed me the pictures of what SHOULD BE my puppy. Okay, she took 'em with her phone and it was dark out. LOOK AT HIS SLEEPY SELF! Don't we look like we belong together? We belong,... Read more →

Marvin is the meanest, meanest, meanest, most horrid husband ever. Plus he's mean.

O.J. Simpson called. Wonders why Marvin is so terrible to me. Scott Peterson also called. Told me I could do better. So, Marvin's parents are here. They got in yesterday evening and we all met for dinner. That's me on... Read more →

The man. He is spoiled.

See what I'm doing here? I'm posting at noonish. How much do you want to smack me with a nail-filled two-by-four for saying "noonish"? Am I Mrs. Howell? Anyway, Thurston darling, I have the day off and I just finished... Read more →