Bye Bye, Pie!

It's here! Wake the kids! The day June talks about her bulbs!

I worked until 11:00 last night. And what I am today? Attractive. Also? Perky. Plus? Attractive. Also incidentally, could it be raining any harder? I know some people say the rain helps them sleep, but I just splayed there in... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday: Toys You Remember

It's Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday here at Bye Bye, Pie, and yesterday I asked you to tell me about toys from your childhood that now that you look back on them, you're all Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? For example, I had... Read more →

Don't be a nicker. Answer my Pieces of Wisdom Q.

I was having a deep email discussion with someone who reads this blog, and somehow we got on the subject of Flickr razors. Well, no. First we were talking about Flickr accounts, and how I would like to get one... Read more →

ONE TWO THREE FOUR!

Yesterday I was at a red light and Sex Machine came on. Now, when Sex Machine comes on, how can you not dance? I dare you to listen to this and not dance a little. Sadly for me, for the... Read more →

Looks like Snow

I have the best best best best best news ever. Maybe. Last night Marvin and I were walking the cur, as we are wont to do every night of our lives, and you know I enjoy strolling past Snowflake. In... Read more →

Remembering Meadow. Also, I am a stalker.

Marvin took this photo of Tallulah's and my buttockal regions without our knowing it. Talu thinks her butt looks enormous and she is PISSED at daddy. And does anyone remember that sweet doggie I had for one day, Meadow? I... Read more →

Good evening. So nice of you to join us.

Marvin, who was delighted with the comments yesterday about his big...hands, is getting a giant charge out of his own self. He keeps putting that each day is his birthday on Facebook. There is someplace you can go and plug... Read more →

I guess if I found a dish, I'd run away with it

Recently, I was digging through my annoying picture boxes to show you something or other. And does anyone remember when I spent a weekend taking all my photos out of their albums and putting them in boxes to save space?... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday. Will you relax?

I spent all night dreaming about whether you capitalize "use" in a headline. These are the sorts of nerdy things I dream about. I said yes, you should cap it, because it is a verb and not a conjunction, and... Read more →

Tense and nervous, can't relax

I am the least-relaxed person you ever met in your life. One of my 3948502845 old boyfriends said if I were a dog, I'd be a poodle. One of those really little ones who tremble. I was much skinnier then.... Read more →

In which June thinks she's cooler than Rush fans

Do you want to know who's pretty? People who go to Rush concerts, that's who. I am certain the folks sashaying into that venue were the same people hitting fashion week in New York. If fashion week suddenly brought the... Read more →

Can you tell me...

...what would have possessed me to buy the t-shirt? No, really. Why did I buy the t-shirt? And yeah. No puppy. More tomorrow. Read more →

I don't mean to Rush you

Today Marvin is making me go see Rush. The band, not the guy. Either one would be bad. But at least with Rush the guy I could get good and mad, so that would be interesting. You cannot say I... Read more →

And the check June picked was...

Oui, oui, mon chere. Crepe Suzette! Poodle! French toast. Yes, I am fluent in French. Hence the French checks. And do you like how I cleverly painted over my name and account number? I am Fort Knox. But I'm French,... Read more →

June's blog. Where you come for the prizes that she never sends you.

I was just so NICELY napping on the couch, when someone had the nerve to stop with their DOGS, TWO of them, and let one of them poop on my lawn. The dog walker cleaned it up, but Tallulah had... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday: June Looks in Your Drawers

Okay, so I'm not looking in your drawers so much as I am your medicine cabinet, but "looks in your drawers" was funnier. For this week's Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday, I asked you to send me pictures of the inside... Read more →

Wedgies of Wisdom--June Gets Nosy

Who is irking me? Francis and his huge self, that's who. He LOUNGES all over the computer, and RUBS his annoying head on the top of the screen, pushing it back so I cannot see, and he Googles SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS or... Read more →

In a million years

I would not be posting from work. Because that would be wrong. Even if I have had no work since 10:15. It would still be wrong. I keep forgetting to say that Duffylou is comment of the week. Tallulah forgot... Read more →

Talu guest post: My day at park

Today sleeping in sun. Curling my tones. Snore a little. Then hear mom say, "Let take Lu to garden." Lu like garden. Lu say screw sleep in sun. Hop off bed. Go look at mom. "Uh-oh, Lu hear us," mom... Read more →

Les Miserables

Today Marvin and I went shopping for a new couch. Enough said. And yet, I will say more. You know, Marvin grew up in a nice, middle-class home, and his parents are tasteful people. And yet? When he goes shopping?... Read more →

Six ridiculous thirty

I have to start working at six ridiculous thirty in the ludicrous a.m. tomorrow, so I am blogging at you tonight and will set this to post at some early-in-the-morning time. So while you are leisurely-ly (it is certainly a... Read more →

A new style! A new look! A new you!

First of all, thank you all so much for all your kind words yesterday. Marvin said, "Look how many people are in support of our failing marriage!" Did I mention he bugs me? Did I mention he's the president of... Read more →

A Very Special Bye Bye, Pie

I have been missing a day of posting here or there, and I don't know if you've noticed or not. The reason is because something sort of major was happening, over here, and being funny was just not happening so... Read more →

Keeping up with the Junedashian

I am spending entirely too much emotional energy watching the Kardashians' reality show, which means I really need to be slapped upside the head, hard. Fortunately, on the coffee table near the TV I had a catalog from a Christmas... Read more →

Hair it is, finally

You may want to read the post before this one so you know what the Sam Holy Hill is going on. Otherwise, you're all, "Did June get arrested?" Here are my attempts to photograph the back of it by myself.... Read more →

The hair and the spare me

Who is your cutest blog friend? Who? Do not answer that out loud, actually. Because I know your cutest blog friend is Miss Doxie. Or maybe Pioneer Woman, who has actual dimples. Who is your cutest kind of old, hagged... Read more →

Ferris June's Day Off

In case you were having trouble sleeping, wondering about the election results of which children's book we are going to read for book club, Little Women is beating Are You There God, It's Me Margaret by just a few votes.... Read more →

Are you there, Ulta? It's me, resentment.

I have many topics today, as opposed to the needle-sharp precision I usually have regarding my topics, so let's begin. To differentiate my subjects today, instead of numbers or letters, I will use my personal fears as separators. Choking. I... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom: Money can't buy you glass (This has nothing to do with the theme of today, I just heard Marvin singing it and thought it was funny)

I know you're all busy today, with your celebrating of Barry Gibb's 64th birthday, and also his 40th wedding anniversary. So I probably won't get many readers today. You'll all be hanging your "Happy Birthday, Barry!" banners and so forth.... Read more →