What have puppies got to be so ding-dang happy about all the time? Holy crap. Have you heard about Auschwitz? Disease? 9/11? Sit here and let me tell you some tales, waggly.
Anyway, you'll be relieved to know Mr. Wiggly Pants is 100% healthy, according to my vet, who also was kind enough to tell me she thinks he is a (are you sitting down?)
(no, really, are you?)
German shepherd/Chihuahua mix.
I know you are now picturing a Chihuahua getting on stilts, as I did.
Because we know Edsel's mom was a white German shepherd. So the dad would have to be the Chihuahua. I asked someone at work why a tough German shepherd would even be ATTRACTED to a Chihuahua, and he said, "Why is JLo attracted to Marc Anthony? No one can figure these things out."
Are you supposed to cap "Chihuahua"? It seems wrong.
We got home from the vet and I took a gander at him. Oh, dear God, he does look like a C(c)hihuahua.
Am thinking of changing his name to Eduardo.
WHY am I the worst picker-outer of dog mixes? First I pick a Beagle/Pit Bull and now THIS freakish combo! From now on I'm gonna be one of those people who spends 11 million dollars on a purebred.
Okay, no I'm not.
By the way, my friend in real life Laurie keeps taking these cute photos of Edsel. She is taking him out of his crate this week before the Tea Partier comes to do it full time. I asked Laurie to be the real person but I guess she has a, you know, life.
I needed someone to let poor Hispanic German Edsel out of his crate in the middle of the day, to run around and get his wiggles out. You would think in this economy that'd be easy to do, but I had to call four places before this person got recommended to me. She is insured and bonded, which was important to me. I didn't want just "Hello I'm Random" to be coming over.
So she calls, which right there was a good sign, because the FIRST place I called just never called back. Nice. Anyway, we're on the phone literally eight seconds before somehow we get on the topic of Akitas and Nicole Brown Simpson.
"Yeah," she said. "A bunch of them wanted to let OJ go free. I'll never understand that."
A "bunch of them"??
"You know," she said. "The blacks."
Oh, dear.
"Well, I think black people must have a completely different experience with the law that we can't begin to understand. I mean, I didn't think OJ should go free, either, but I was certainly compelled by the different reaction from black and white people," I said.
"They're different, all right. And they all back Obama."
Oh, dear.
"Well," I said, growing anxious. "I voted for Obama--"
"You're not a Socialist, are you? I've gotten turned off from clients before because they're Socialists," she said. "I'm a Tea Partier myself."
Now, you guys know me. I don't get all bent out of shape if you have a differing opinion from me, unless it's an animal rights thing which I cannot be rational about. I mean, more power to you. We are allowed to disagree. But why are you bringing up your politics to me when we are supposed to be talking about MY DOG?
Which is what I did.
"Fortunately, my dogs are apolitical," I told her, and we laughed.
Hey, do you think she can hook me up with some really good tea?
Oh! And while Edsel is over there being happy about just everything, Tallulah is famous. Click on the link and scroll down to the first doggie on the left. WHO IS CUTE? Who is my dog?
No, we didn't get paid. We would have just spread the wealth anyway, because we're Socialists.
Really, we're kind of homebodies. BAHAHAHA.
I guess that's all I have to tell you. Except I have a cold, the first cold in the 2948532049 colds I will get this year thanks to Marvin's job with those Typhoid Mary children. And why doesn't someone tell me to take Airborne? I don't hear that 922945720 times a day. Why don't I cram in some more unrealistic numbers? How about I cram 8049857534932 in?
Okay, sniff at you later.
