Marvin just emerged from the bathroom and said, "I can't stop releasing the hounds."
Pretty.
Anyway, I'm tired. I stayed up late to watch that depressing movie where Meryl Streep has the cancer and her daughter is Renee Zellwegger. The worst part of that scenario would be having Renee Zellwegger as a daughter.
I took pictures of everything I did yesterday, except I did not photograph the part where I watched that depressing movie and made myself tired.
I took the sisal rug out from under the dining room table, as it seemed to be a local favorite for someone to pee on while he was learning the ropes, over here. What the hell does "sisal" mean, anyway?
I took it outside and squirted dish soap on it and hosed it down, and it dried in like 17 seconds, which was great. Also I sharked the floor. I was certain Edsel would march right in and pee on the rug after, but in fact he didn't. He is getting good at the going outside thing, thankfully.
He has been coming inside and hanging in his crate, which is excellent. Now I don't feel so guilty that he is locked in there till the Tea Partier lets him out each day while I'm at work. Apparently he likes it. Or he's a masochist. Whichever.
Then I went and got me a pedicure, which was necessary because my feet looked homeless. Whenever I show you any nail photos you always want to know what color I got, and who remembers what color they picked, especially when it's those loopy OPI color names? It's, you know, plum-ish.
Oh, and I had them do my eyebrows, forgetting that I was using that Roc night cream with Retinol. They ripped off half my eyelids and I look like that woman who was eaten by the chimp.
Then I minced over to the Old Navy, and I have to tell you I am very good at not smudging my wet nail polish. I should really get some kind of award. When I lived in LA, my mother and I would always get mani/pedis at my neighborhood place, which was called Nail...something, because all manicure places have the name "nail" in them in LA. The one near my work was called Red Nail and that didn't bother me in the slightest. Were they only going to work on ONE of your nails?
Anyway, the point is, there was a cute boutique next door and my mother would handle some item and smudge her nails every.single.time. Always. Without fail.
Fortunately I did not handle any clothes with my feet at Old Navy yesterday so my toes remained pristine.
You can never have too many white shirts for layering, I always say. Well, I don't ALWAYS say that, or this blog would be awfully redundant. And yes, that is a size large because I am Pudgy Obesenstein. Hate self. Lot of me to hate.
I also purchased cargo pants because you never know when I will be needed to join the war.
And I have become one of those people who thinks, "Oh, I'll wear this giant black sweater to hide my fat arse" when in reality what it will do is cling to said arse. What is that THREAD on the chair, there? Irking me.
Oh! Best part! I used the "please forgive us for being butts" gift card sent to me by the CERTAIN COSMETICS STORE and got my foundation and this cool eye shadow set! I mean, my eyes are literally naked right now, as you can see my corpuscles after that waxing error, but once I recover they will look exactly like the woman's eye on the box.
It comes with cards to show you how to apply the shadow. You know, once you have skin on your eyelids again.
Look at the pretty colors! And they have dirty names, so your eyes will look smutty! Wooo! Cannot wait to grow eyelids again so I can use these!
So that was my day. It was over in the blink of an eye. Get it? Yeah.
