Tallulah is so.totally.over. Marvin and his snow days.
"make dadee go."
We are on DAY FOUR of Marvin not having to work, and the roads are FINE. You have never met a wimpier place than the South.
Anyway, Marvin is forever cuddling Talu, and speaking to her in a high, squeaky voice, and it is hilarious how every time he starts this behavior, she gets up and leaves. She could have been on the couch with me for the last two hours, but as soon as Marvin squeaks, "HI, TALU!" fa-flump. Off she goes.
Talu is kind of aloof. I mean, with Marvin. I just tell him she's an aloof dog, and do not reveal how she lies on me all day, and looks at me and sighs, and sleeps with her head on my neck all night.
Anyway. In other pressing news, I am so IRRITATED. Do you remember how I had to take a drug test for a potential job recently? Well, obviously I passed, because I studied hard, and how often am I gonna make that joke? The point is, the job is freelance-to-hire, and it's in frigging CHARLOTTE, which is more than an hour away.
When I knew for sure I was gonna get this other freelance job that I orientated for yesterday, I called the Charlotte place, as I am scheduled to drive there tomorrow to do some paperwork. I told them I had another opportunity more locally, and they TALKED ME IN to coming there anyway.
"This could lead to full-time work," they said. "Just come finish the paperwork."
Crap. So now I have to go there tomorrow. But fret not, Faithful Reader Jessica, we are still on for tomorrow night.
Yes, I have a date with FR Jessica. Did I fail to mention I'm a lesbian now?
I might have to become a lesbian, if Marvin keeps drinking fruit juice and eating chicken-fried rice and continuing to lose more weight than me. I have lost about three pounds, and he has lost five or six. "I'm really not doing much," he said. "Just THINKING about losing weight has helped me lose."
See. That just makes me want to quit men. In a stop-shaving-my-legs, join-an-all-womyn-commune, start-saying-"HERstory" way.
I'd better go back to proofreading my nursing book. Could I be any busier? So far while reading this book, I have worried about ever having to endure a cesarean birth, gotten HIV, had terminal cancer, and proofread TURKISH. I am not kidding. There was some TURKISH in there. You have to compare one document to another to make sure they typed it all in right, and there are those funny letters like the "s" with the squiggle under it, and the "u" with the polka dots.
Again, why am I not a trophy wife? Do lesbians have trophy wives? I guess they do. See Portia DeRossi. Is it too late for me to be a lesbian trophy wife? Some lesbian out there tell me. I cannot play softball to save my life. Does this disqualify me altogether?
Okay, later.
Your lesbian friend,
June