"i fyne. eff off."
Francis is still among us. I mean, as much as he ever was. The vet is coming tomorrow morning, and all day yesterday he did not barf nor mow. This annoyed me. I was all, I'm paying $11,000 to have a house call, plus the $4,900 where they have to sedate your giant tuxedo tabby arse, and now you're WELL?
But then today he did the mowing again so that's a relief. It's a relief he's still sick. Am I a good pet parent, or what?
My Frannie. I spent a lot of yesterday sitting with him and rubbing his head as he likes. Every once in awhile a dog would come see what I was up to, notice Fran on me, say, "Oh sheeyte" and leave. They NEVER mess with Francis. Ever.
In other pet news, because what's more riveting than a blog about my pets all the time, Edsel attended his first manners class last night. Today he is out with his calling card, paying very appropriate visits to the neighborhood in his morning suit.
I was really worried we couldn't even go IN, he was barking at the other dogs like such a maniac. But once I got him quiet, we stepped into that room and he was all, "holee carp! dogz scaree!" Here he is while we were waiting for class to begin. He spent most of that time under my legs, looking unsure.
But guess what! Guess who was a model pupil and citizen! He got EVERY LESSON right, and whenever the instructor came to us, she'd say, "Perfect! That's perfect!" He sat, he looked at me when I said his name, he did heel position, and to tell you the truth, when we got to "stay" he was so exhausted that he just laid down. He was in REM before we pulled out the parking lot of that place.
I told the woman next to me, who has Ginger, a doxie puppy, that my other dog is a terrier. "Ohhhh," she said sympathetically. It's just so exciting to have a dog who, you know, minds.
Edsel's reward for his stellar behavior is that tomorrow morning he has to have his...well...he will be reading Balzac, if you know what I'm saying to you. He will be taking Cinderella to the ball. He will be singing great balls of fire. He will remain neutral on the situation.
If you're picking up what I'm throwing down.
He will be half the man he used to be. He will be singing soprano. Shooting blanks.
Wouldn't it be sad if someone actually didn't get what was happening tomorrow?
Anyway, finally, since I seem to be rambling about pets today, Faithful Reader Juice has a cute dog, and I sent her Edsel's collar that he outgrew in a week, and it is a Martha Stewart collar which was not a good thing, because I paid 11 million dollars for it, which you'll notice is more than a vet house call, and then a week later it was moot.
I am glad Chloe looks so cute in it. I totally stole this photo and caption from Juice's blog and hope she does not sue me. After buying that collar and paying to have Fran sedated, I am tapped out.
Dis my new collar from Joon Gardins.And I am getting better, coldwise.
