Bye Bye, Pie!

Head and shoulders on the beach

Ima tell you now, I'm all over the place today. I am like that horrible joke about the astronaut whose rocket exploded and the punchline is "They found her Head & Shoulders on the beach." I can't remember how the... Read more →

Three years ago today

Some mornings you wake up, and you have no idea that particular day is going to change your whole life forever. February 27, 2008 was one of those days for me. I was headed to a job interview (honestly, could... Read more →

Indubitable to talk to you again

It is BEAUTIFUL outside. All sunny and springy and so forth! I cannot wait to get out there and murder some ivy. How would you describe that blob on Henry's back? Is it a six? A gourd? An intestine? It... Read more →

No man is a failure who has friends. I guess that applies to skirts, too.

You guys. After I write this, I am taking down my PayPal post, because I cannot believe how many people donated to my stupid "June should never have been honest with the unemployment office" self. I am astonished at how... Read more →

June wishes she could find the circle and a slash symbol so she could put it over a dollar sign. Cause that would have been a funny title.

Sorry I haven't written today. I have been extremely busy panicking. Which is productive. Remember last week when I got offered that job that paid very little, and was an hour and a half away, and did not offer benefits,... Read more →

My hideous medical experience. Written by June. Experienced by June.

Because what's more exciting than hearing about someone's hideous medical experience? On the first day I went to my migraine doctor last May, he did a range-of-motion test on me and I, you know, HAD no motion in my neck... Read more →

ACK!

I just had the WORST TIME at the doctor getting my nerve block injections. I cannot write today because I am still shaking. Blurgh. Read more →

My Spin on Lunch with Laundry

Yesterday I got up with Joann from Laundry Hurts My Feelings. Joann is a regular reader of my stupid blog. I mean, I have no idea how often she poops. What I'm saying is she reads this blog faithfully, because... Read more →

My secret lunch

Isn't it exciting? Francis feels well enough to get up on the fridge to eat! Of course, the irony is that the cat food is up on the fridge because it's the nonbunny food, and now he feels well enough... Read more →

Straight outta the garden

It's Saturday. Yesterday it was 72 degrees here, and it is sunny and warmish here again. Do you feel like you are reading the diary of someone from 1912? Why did they always report the weather? The point of me... Read more →

Blue is a color

When I was a kid, I spent an inordinate amount of time at my grandmother's. At least half my childhood memories involve being at her house. I was the only grandkid in town; the others lived in Detroit, so who... Read more →

Flakey. And weedy.

When I was in 10th grade, this boy liked me all fall. I had another boyfriend who went to a different school, so this boy would come over after school and try to be charming, until finally at around Christmastime... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom: What time is it? It's time to get depressed.

Okay, thanks, Marvin. In case you are just tuning in, yesterday I let Marvin come up with our weekly Pieces of Wisdom question, and he asked, "What was your worst Valentine's Day, ever?" because he has a cheery personality like... Read more →

Pieces of Sodium

In case you were up all night tossing and turning, the pot roast turned out fine. NEEDED A LITTLE SALT, but otherwise fine. Which reminds me. Attached please find the multipaged Valentine's Day card I made for Marvin, proving once... Read more →

Love and Salt

Happy Valentine's Day! I wish I could begin to tell you how IRRITATED I am at Marvin. I am making a romantic crock pot pot roast. Because what's more romantic than eating something with the word "crock" involved? Anyway, you... Read more →

My love is not a light switch

When I was in high school, one of my good guy friends liked this girl, and they broke up. Somehow we got ahold of the broken-hearted letter he wrote her, in which he wrote, "My love is not a light... Read more →

Where's the lampshade?

My friend the Other June was over this morning, and she brought doughnuts, so I was busy. I had a blueberry doughnut. So I got my fruit. Also too, now I have to go because Marvin and I are going... Read more →

@work

Hi! Have you been worried sick about me all day? Are you wringing your hands and fretting? Is it "wringing"? I'd look it up but I don't want to. This morning my old workplace called me again. "Jane West is... Read more →

It's noon somewhere. Like, here.

I just got up. What am I, 17? I had to work last night, at my old workplace, and I didn't get home till 1:45. I am a night owl, is what I am. They called me, my old workplace,... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday--Now we know you at all over. I know that makes little sense.

Perhaps you're saying, Gee. I wish I knew someone as high-tech and fancy as June. You don't. Deal with it. Above is my fine map of the United States, showing where my readers are. If it's green, someone is reading... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom: Global Positioning Version

Last night I did that thing I do where I immediately fall asleep like a log, then maybe an hour later wake up again. I say "maybe" an hour later because I'm Helen Keller and can never tell what time... Read more →

Waiting for the go

I'm sitting here waiting for my old workplace to call, because they need me to freelance this week but don't want me to come in until there's, you know, work to do. I had big plans to wash all my... Read more →

Don't get testy--party pictures are here!

A good time was had by all. Maybe too good of a time. And before you start saying, "Wow, that June sure learned some photography skillz overnight," all these photos were taken by my friend Laurie, who had a 200-foot-tall... Read more →

Ball Prep

Mom is here, although apparently she is in an impressionist painting. She is holding one of the clubs that is supposed to be a spade that we are hanging for the party tonight. Yesterday my friend in real life Laurie... Read more →

June gets murdered up

Do you know what I'm thinking? And if you do, why are you so creepy? I am thinking I should invent some Bye Bye, Pie tacky souvenirs. I was thinking about the royal wedding and got inspired. Bye Bye, Pie... Read more →

June cleans

I wish I could begin to tell you how many hours I spent yesterday trying to get stubborn soap scum off my bathtub. I realize this makes me (a) boring and (b) boring, and also a Stepford Wife who is... Read more →

Pieces of Tasteful Wisdom: June's Ball

Oh, you all came up with BEAUTIFUL ideas for Edsel's neutering party! You should all be professional neutering party planners. Which now that I think of it, someone said in the comments, as well. I have no original thoughts. You... Read more →

Pieces of the Wisdom--Help June Throw a Ball

Before I begin today's pressing Pieces of Wisdom question, I have two photos that did not make it into yesterday's hellish show-me-your-photos project: Faithful Reader and always hilarious commenter Paula H&B sent us a photo of her leftovers, and hello.... Read more →