Sorry I haven't written today. I have been extremely busy panicking. Which is productive.
Remember last week when I got offered that job that paid very little, and was an hour and a half away, and did not offer benefits, so I turned it down?
When you are on unemployment, every week you have to go online and fill out this form saying whether you worked that week at all, or if you got alimony (hah!) or whatever, and did you turn down any work.
Oh, I had an angel and a devil on me. Do I TELL about the job offer, or not? How would they ever know, I wondered. But my problem is, I have a terrible time with lying. Oh, sure, I can exaggerate a story to make it better. I have no issue with that. That's for entertainment purposes. But basic lying? I cannot do.
So I told. I checked off "yes," I did turn down work.
And instead of, I don't know, CONTACTING me in any way, stupid unemployment just stopped paying me. Which I found out when I discovered I had $30 in checking on Monday. I called them, and have you ever noticed that when you call ANY place with menu options, they ALWAYS tell you to listen carefully as their menu options have recently changed?
Why are they always changing their menu options? They never meet my needs, anyway, and I'm always on hold for 87 hours. It's just their way of making sure you don't just stampede for 3 because you know you NEED 3. They want you to sit there in further misery, listening to ALL the options, finally pressing 3 anyway.
I talked to a very nice woman at unemployment yesterday, who is on a diet called the 28-day diet, and she has lost 10 pounds so far. Someone was making sausage at the office, though, and it was tempting her greatly. I do not know why I get so much info out of complete strangers, but I always do.
The point is, she asked all about the job I turned down, and said they'd review my case in the next twelve weeks.
Twelve.
weeks.
I have 30 dollars. If it were 1842 I'd be all set. TWELVE WEEKS. My car payment is due in five days. My half of the mortgage is due in six. I hate to make you privy to my finances and all, but 30 dollars isn't gonna cover it.
What Ima do? I called them again today and pleaded my case. I talked to another very nice woman today who said she understood and to call in two weeks if the problem hadn't been solved. Then she said, "I understand two weeks sound like a very long time, ma'am." Yes, she said "sound," singular. She has a job and I don't.
In the meanwhile, I have assessed the food sityashun.
Naturally, the pets are in good shape. That container of what were cheese balls from Edsel's party now contains dog food. The blue container is cat food, but remember we also have Fancy Feast and canned rabbit. I wonder how either of those taste?
I guess if I crave corn, I am all set. Also, I technically cannot eat canned soup because it gives me migraines (MSG), but there is no time to trifle over things like that now.
The freezer? Pathetic. Maybe this weekend I could hunt and freeze some game. I like Monopoly. BAH!
Soy milk, half a jar of spaghetti sauce and another jar of spaghetti sauce. Let the good times roll. Also, apparently I will not dehydrate. What water collection?
So people still sell matches? I wonder if we have any matches. I mean, do they only sell them on Match.com? This new technology today.
I figure I can make a game of this--seeing how little I can spend this weekend. What sort of outfit should I buy for this? ...Oh.
Crap.
