Bye Bye, Pie!

Could it be because it's the last day I'll live with Marvin? And the cats? Or because I'm having general anesthesia tomorrow? Or because no one will hire me?

I so don't feel like blogging today. Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom: What's to Eat?

I watched it happen. It was like slow motion, if slow motion happened really fast. Tallulah was all cuddling up with me this morning, and I was hugging her big neckeldy. Edsel was at the foot of the bed, because... Read more →

Limbo

I am in this ridiculous state of limbo--not that I am bending under a stick anywhere. But I'm waiting for EITHER of those companies to call me and say, "June, you are so hired." Also, I am waiting for Marvin... Read more →

I was dreaming when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray

Now that I have seen Prince in concert twice, I know this for sure: Prince has a certain...charisma that Barry Gibb does not. Sorry. I should have warned you to sit down before I said that. It's TRUE, though! He... Read more →

If you know what I'm singing about up here, come on raise your hand

Tonight Marvin and I are going to see Prince. I know! But he's in town and we both like Prince and what can I tell you. I am doubting at any point in the night Marvin is going to look... Read more →

Spring. A lovely time to deal with your fibroids.

Spring in the South is lovely. My feeling is for every time you have to see a Confederate flag, you also get to see this: That's one of the trees in my front yard. Isn't it pretty? And pink? Also,... Read more →

In which faithful readers encourage me to be a terrible cat mom

The home vet came today, to check on Francis. I have to have a vet come to the house to see Francis, because he is insane, and you simply cannot work on him at a regular vet's office. He gets... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday--Hulk Knits for Love

In what is sure to be the absolute worst collection of photos ever shown in this already shoddily photographed blog, below are some pics symbolizing your suggestions from yesterday's Pieces of Wisdom query: "How can my pal Hulk meet women?"... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom--Get Hulk a Woman

Today's Pieces of Wisdom topic is a deep and important one, as per usual, but before I begin, I must tell you some things, of course, because I never shut up. I was walking the dogs (and who has had... Read more →

My magnetic personality

The Nester says you shouldn't have refrigerator magnets because they're tacky. So I mostly listened to her and have had a nearly blank (for me) fridge. But yesterday Marvin was packing and he said, "Look what's in this tin!" There... Read more →

In which you all come charging at me with torches if I mention the "h" word again

FIN! Ima keep it just like that, with nothing on it or in it. I worked so hard on the thing; I'd hate to ruin it with stuff marring it. Okay, here it is with stuff. Marvin has packed a... Read more →

Don't you wish your eyeballs were hot like me? That made no sense.

Last night my neighbor Peg had a St. Patrick's Day party. I guess really it was a day-after-St.-Patrick's-Day party. Anyway, she made corned beef and cabbage, and had 33 million green and/or Irish drinks (she even had ginger ale with... Read more →

Hire me and my Meridith Baxter hair

I am sitting here in my interview suit, like that's just something you sit around the house in, as though I were starring in a Lifetime Television for Women movie. Which I kind of am, lately. She Loved Her Pets... Read more →

June Gladys Kravitzes the Neighbors

Have you guys seen this video? This is a dog in Japan who wouldn't leave his injured friend. THEY BOTH GET RESCUED. So it's okay. Dogs are the bomb. Even though mine has eaten two red pens in under 24... Read more →

In which animal services might need to be phoned

There's this company that I have wanted to call me for weeks, and just a few minutes ago I had a giant piece of chicken in my mouth and the phone rang. I thought, "Oh, this'll be the time that... Read more →

Team Fibroid

Beleaguered April, the nurse who assists my doctor, called me at 3:18 yesterday. "Miss June? You got a fibroid." Well. I'm glad I spent $900 to learn WHAT I ALREADY KNEW. Okay, you spent $900 so I could learn what... Read more →

Goldilocks

As if painting the dining room and the hutch and waiting to hear about my MRI weren't fun enough, this morning I've been shopping for car insurance. I know! Marvin is taking me off his car insurance, and fortunately I... Read more →

Old paint

This ding-dang dining room needs a second coat of $&%#& paint, so I do not have time to blop at you today. I'm sure my neighbor Peg is delighted that she offered to help. "A whole nother day with June?... Read more →

In which June does an impression of a deposit at the bank drive-up window

I had my MRI. When I got there, I was greeted by a chirpy 20-year-old, who said, "That'll be $900, please!" and thanks to y'all and my tip jar, I said, "Okay." Then another chirpy 20-year-old took me to a... Read more →

Blogebrity Rehab

Some man just jogged by who looked exactly like Dr. Drew. Could Dr. Drew have a spring home in Greensboro? And could his spring home be a one-story 1950s ranch, since that's all this neighborhood has? This all seems very... Read more →

Brick house of pain

This morning, Marvin was whistling in the shower. Whistling! Mr. Bluebird on His Shoulder, over there, has offered to stay here for as long as it takes for me to recover from whatever surgery I may need for whatever is... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom and also June's many many many euphemisms

Yes, it IS Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday, but so many of you have written in and said, "I'd really like to hear more about the intricacies of June's girl parts." Okay. No one has ever written that, ever. In four... Read more →

Pieces of Fat Tuesday

In an attempt to think about ANYTHING ELSE besides the depressing state of my life, today is Fat Tuesday, which for me is every Tuesday, and who misses Topamax? So, tomorrow starts the official Lenten season, and I like to... Read more →

Carp.

Marvin is leaving. He is moving out May 1. I have no idea why he wants to drag out this purgatory until then; something about moving during spring break. My father is moving in to help me cover the mortgage.... Read more →

The old rugged tennis ball on the cross

I have a busy day ahead of me, so I'm just stopping in for a minute. First of all, Amish Annie is comment of the week, so click on This Week's Special to enjoy her, and to ponder over how... Read more →

Edsel, I have one word for you. Plastics.

I wish I could tell you how proud I am of Edsel. He has graduated his manners class. When he wriggled into his class nine weeks ago, I thought we were gonna have to leave on day one. He would... Read more →

Junelagong

My doctor quit again. Honestly, this is like the 10th doctor I have blazed through in 20 years. In 1994, I had a doctor named Sherwood B. Fynne, who I picked because I liked his name. We all had to... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday: Break on through to the other side

I asked all y'all all everyone to put up with me saying "all 'y'all all everyone," and also to do something sort of courageous for today's Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday. I asked you to write in and say something nice... Read more →

Play nicely

Is it just me, or is everybody getting angrier? Jane Russell died. She was an actress in the '30s and '40s, and she had the bangin' body, and she dated Howard Hughes, and she was a legend and all that.... Read more →