Beleaguered April, the nurse who assists my doctor, called me at 3:18 yesterday. "Miss June? You got a fibroid."
Well.
I'm glad I spent $900 to learn WHAT I ALREADY KNEW. Okay, you spent $900 so I could learn what I already knew. Still. At least it wasn't, you know, a bomb or anything residing in there. My doctor referred me to a gynecologist and we go from there. I'll either have outpatient surgery or a giant hysterectomy, but either way it will be fine.
Maybe I am eating too much fiber. You think? Hence the FIBroid?
So that problem is solved. I mean, sort of.
Also, I know it's Pieces of Wisdom day but I'm not in the mood. Is everyone okay with that? I do not wish to be wise this week. Next week we're going to work on Faithful Reader Hulk's dating life, a thing that needs fixing in the worst way. It needs the loving hands of all the yentas who are up in this here blog.
In the meantime, even though I got 99 problems, my garden ain't one.
Despite the 94852445 dead leaves that I keep raking and yet hey! there's more!, my spring flowers are blooming. See my purple hyacinths hither and yon?
Being pretty. It so exhausting.
Yes, my flowers do talk like Tallulah. I know it's a coincidence.
Good Lord, I need to leave the house.
Talu and Edsel still have free dog day care visits left, and seeing as Edsel has already chewed (a) a pillow, (b) a shoe (c) Winston and (d) my favorite sock and (e) yes it IS sad that I have a favorite sock, I am taking their houndy selves to day care. Then Ima paint this DANG HUTCH, which WILL NOT LOOK GOOD and I am going to have to call Starsky for advice soon, and there, folks, is my day. Oh, crap. And I have to take a copyediting test for a freelance company.
I just learned copyediting as a verb is one word. It used to annoy me when people made it one word then I looked it up. Oops. Looking things up. A thing copy editors should probably do. FYI: "copy editor" is two words, still.
Isn't this an informative place? Remember when I used to feature Ask June, and you would ask me grammar questions? Then the other readers would complain that that was boring? Whatever with them. Grammar and spelling are fascinating.
As is having a favorite sock.