Oh, I love it when we explore our crabby sides.
Yesterday I asked all y'all to mention the petty things that bug you, and it is a shame you hardly had any. I was on the phone (let me put my thumb and pinky up so you know I was on the phone) with my Pal From MA, and I said, "I'd better go pick out my featured comments for tomorrow's Pieces of Wisdom post" and she said, "Yeah, you'd better get on that. You have more than 300 comments." And I said, "I DO?"
They come to me as emails, see. So I often do not know the number. Anyway, your petty annoyances were a great source of amusement for me yesterday and here were some that particularly tickled me.
Posted by: Siren, dammit. | 10 May 2011 at 06:34 PM
YES! Oh, who INVENTED that plastic? I'd like to give them a gallon of water and then encase their personal toilet in that plastic. Is what I'd like to do.
"I'll have to add: that Charmin commercial with the bears. UGH! I mean, really! Wasn't Mr. Whipple bad enough? Who thought that bears and TP go together? And why do they want me to think about bear dingle-berries? Disgusting!"
Posted by: Elisabeth (near Seattle). | 10 May 2011 at 01:52 PM
I do not know why this one made me laugh for 109 minutes, except you know how I am about anything poop-related.
"People with nothing to say. 'Man, what a day.' What the f*uck does that mean? Did you win the lottery? Get fired? Commit a murder? Then someone goes, 'What happened?' And they go, 'Oh, just crazy...' If it's that big a secret, why did you even mention it? How self-absorbed do you think you are that you feel you have to 'tease' us into finding out what happened? 'Oh MAN! She had a day! I gotta stayed tuned for THIS!' Whatever..."
Posted by: Hulk (It's been quite a day...) | 10 May 2011 at 03:29 PM
Hulk. Being my partner in crab since 1982.
"When I order a Club Supreme Sub at Jersey Mike's. Here is what it says on the menu: Turkey, ham, provolone, bacon, mayo. Every time they ask, Do you want bacon? Yes, IT COMES WITH BACON. They don't stop and ask if I want salami when I order an Italian Sub."
Posted by: Carole from Raleigh | 10 May 2011 at 04:19 PM
You know, they do this to me somewhere, too, and I can't think of where. Annoying.
"-victoria beckham
-victoria beckham's cheekbones
-body parts of victoria beckham that are not her cheekbones
-posh spice"
Posted by: marzipan who could go on for hours; apparently i'm full of the hate thing | 10 May 2011 at 12:48 PM
Really, how can I follow that up with anything? I'll tell you what Marzipan wants, what he really really wants. He wants to inxay Victoria Eckhambay.
"The sound of styrofoam on styrofoam. Sends shivers down me spine!!
The sayings 'At the end of the day' and 'It is what it is.' Really? Can you not think of ANY other way to express yourself except with those tired old phrases?
Watermelon. Its texture skeeves me right out.
That screamy heavy metal music where it sounds like someone is being killed or the low-voiced one that sounds like satan. Why would you want that shit in your earholes?"
Posted by: Your Pal from MA | 10 May 2011 at 01:14 PM
"All that re-posting and chain posting nonsense on Facebook.
Negative comments on FB. If you have nothing nice to say, keep your trap shut or stay off of my page!
Starting off a question with 'Can I ask you a question?' or 'Can I ask you a favor?' JUST ASK ME, ALREADY!!!"Posted by: My name is Pamela and I am Soul Sister #2 and I am easily annoyed | 10 May 2011 at 01:44 PM
Goodness, Pamela and I are the same person.
"When people ask really obvious questions, like if I am sitting here with a blanket wrapped around me in my office and fifty people say 'ARE YA COLD?' "
Posted by: Kate | 10 May 2011 at 08:44 AM
Marvin used to ask me what I was doing when I'd be, oh, watching TV or reading a book. I would always say thing like, "I'm cooking up a big pot of stew" or "I'm wildly conducting an orchestra." I wonder why he left? And Kate, the rest of your comment mentioned a bird's nest and the promise of photos and HELLO!
"People wearing earpiece phones. Unless you are landing planes at JFK while trying to pick out a breakfast cereal, leave the effing thing in the car. You look like a moron talking to himself everywhere else. You are not important enough. Trust me. If you were, someone ELSE would be buying your Apple Jacks FOR you..."
Posted by: Hulk (What cranky?) | 10 May 2011 at 09:13 AM
Hulk. Continuing in the cranky-pal vein.
"Iceberg lettuce."
Posted by: DB in MD | 10 May 2011 at 09:25 AM
Really, you all slayed me yesterday. Good job! Now let's all go out and be happy today.
Because it is what it is.
