Gut morgan, .16 Saturday readers! Please do not go out and gut anyone named Morgan.
You know what I should do? I should save up a bunch of fascinating stuff for Saturday, to REWARD the .16 Saturday readers. Sadly I just thought of this idea and have nothing fascinating, as opposed to, you know, ever.
I slept in. I went to a party last night, and also had an accidental date, thereby violating my man break without meaning to. My friend Caren had a Halloween party, and I guess I already told you that part, because I mentioned the costume-optional part. I talked my next-door neighbor Peg into going as Bob Ross, that ludicrous artist from PBS with the happy little clouds.
See what a great job she did? I did not bring my camera to the party, as I was off on my {surprise!} date and it threw me off. But Peg is an artist in real life so I thought this was a hilarious idea and I continue my great love affair with me.
Anyway, it was a potluck, and you know I enjoy those because it means I get to eat real food. I made the left turn into Harris Teeter and brought pretentious cheese and crackers. June. Always a welcome guest at a potluck. And if there is anything Marvin left me with, it was that "I made a left turn" line. It was more effective when we lived in LA and making a left turn could take 25 minutes.
Oh, there was turkey tetrazini, and mac and cheese (it's the South), and red velvet cake (ditto) and banana pudding (ditto ditto) and those meatballs in the sauce and some kind of teensy biscuit with spicy stuff inside and why am I having to wander over to the Women's section every once in awhile?
And why can't we call a spade a spade? Why can't we call it the "You had banana pudding and you chubby, hon" section? Who we kidding with "Women's"? The "You Bustin' Out" section. The "We're Ready For Your Jelly" section.
Sadly, that made me hungry.
Oh, so yeah. Before that, I went on my date. So, as you know, maybe, I work in what is essentially the basement of my building, although they euphemistically refer to it as they garden level, which slays me. But my whole department is down there, so I never go up, or I rarely do, although as of yesterday I have been made the editor in chief of the company newsletter--smell me--so I guess I'll be wandering around more.
My point is I am down below like a mole or a dragon or a groundhog, and I don't know why I just said dragon. I guess I was thinking of the dragon they had under the stairs on The Addams Family, Spot. And see? All those years my parents said, "It's a lovely day outside (it was Michigan, so they could only use that line 8 days a year). Get outside and enjoy the fresh air. Why do you need to watch so much TV?"
Now here I am, entertaining .16 readers with my Spot references, and yesterday's James at 16 hint with my title. Who's sorry now, parents? If I'd have gone outside more I'd never know who Lance Kerwin is today. Take THAT!
Okay. So this guy from work emails me because a woman we both know at work had told him I am a cat lover, and he is one of those people who cats just WANDER up on his porch (I always wanted to be one of those people), so all week we have been emailing back and forth about our cats and their personalities and Roger's amore and where to get cheap neutering and anyway he asked me to meet him for dinner.
And you guys. A) I do things with people from work all the time. 8) I am used to the directness of Match.com. "We are on a dating site. This is clearly a communication to see if we like each other." I dunno. B) I am out of practice and am on a break. A) I am stupid.
So I was all, yeah, I'll pop down there after work! I have a party tonight in which there is food but let's get a drink!
And that is how I ended up on a date yesterday afternoon. It turns out I had met this guy, briefly, when a bunch of people came down to my desk one day to take my photo for something. (Mug shot.) (America's Most Wanted.) (Cat pervs anonymous.) (I guess if it's anonymous they wouldn't take my picture. Work with me, here. I'm in a hurry because I slept late and I gotta bang this post out and go do errands before Jane West gets here to get ready for tonight's party.)
Anyway, when he figured out I didn't remember meeting him, he said, "So wait. You just came down here and met a total stranger? That's ...weird."
I didn't want to tell him that between this blog and my online shenanigans that 75% of my social life involves meeting complete strangers. I guess when you think about it it IS weird. I do it so much now that it seems normal. Someday I am going to be minced into teensy bits.
Anyway, the best part is when I came home to let the dogs out (who? who who!) and such before the party, and I called my mother to say, "I broke my man break just now."
"Did you pull it too hard?"
"What?" I said. "....NO! My MAN break. MAN break. Not HAND break."
Good gravy. I think the TV was on in the background. SEE!? It was a lovely night, MOM. Get outside in the fresh air.
Oh, and in case you did not read this, book club is NOT tonight, as scheduled, because of the party I am attending. It will now be Tuesday, Nov. 1 at 8 p.m. Eastern time. I mean, if the men of the world can resist me long enough to let me have book club.
I have to go so I'll figure out comment of the week tomorrow. Somebody say something hilarious today so I don't have to re-read a week's worth of comments. Thanks.
