June is the irresponsible one in the friendship. Hunh.

Edsel has a new best friend, which I would get up and go outside and photograph for you, but then everyone would remember I exist and they would think about coming inside and trust me, you do not want these yahoos inside. Edsel and this puppy play outside for hours at a time while Tallulah and I relax in here and roll our eyes at each other.

In case you did not read yesterday's post, because 12 people read me on Saturday and I for one resent it, I am puppy-SITTING. I did not get a new pup. What am I, soft in the head? Which is what my neighbors thought when they saw me walking her yesterday.

"Oh! Did you...add to your brood?" they all asked in different ways, seeming concerned.

Do I really seem that berserk?

Do not reply to that query.

On other news, I got my roots done yesterday, despite the fact that I had, like, $100 to my name till payday. Again, do not answer above query.

I get my roots done at Party City. Also, in real life it does not look like there is a blemish on my chin. And yet this picture makes me look very blemishy. Why, God?

At any rate, my hairdresser informed me that I am now 100% gray in real life. Thank you! Hooray! I really don't like her all that much. Other than the part where she provides snacks and has a Keurig machine. How can I be 100% gray with blemishes? WHY, GOD?

After I got my roots done and came home and played with Penny and looked at my remaining penny to last me till payday, I drove to my friends Chris and Lilly's farm to have dinner.

Not wanting to come empty-handed, I brought autumnal flowers. (Hello, credit card.)

And then when I got there, they had beautiful dahlias from their own yard, because, you know, they have a farm. Now I have been obsessed. Had I said I'd bring wine when they invited me? It'd be like me to have emailed, "I'll bring wine!" and then never have thought about it again. Because I suck.

I love going to Chris and Lilly's. First of all, Chris always does everything. Cooks delicious food, serves it, cleans it up, provides ambiance, while Lilly and I do all the chatting. I mean, he chats too. He's not one of those silent husbands. But Lilly and I both had bad weeks, and I said to her, "Thank God Chris is gonna do everything so you and I can sit around and whine all night."

And not only do they have, you know, farm animals for me to oooo over, they have a kitty--A FLUFFY SWEET KITTY...

and dogseses! The yellow one is the mom and the black one is the son. I am not being my neighbor kids with "Snowflake is the wife and Goldilocks is the husband." They really are mother and son. Also? Totally, completely over me every time I go over there. OVER.ME. Look at the yellow one. OVER.ME.

Oh, look. There's Chris, doing everything.

Okay, so it's just the two of them. Do the DOGS wear riding boots? Does Lilly have days-of-the-week riding boots? These and other queries burn in my brain.

Dinner was unbelieveable, and mom, I want a toile tablecloth. For my giant dining room table. Good luck with that.

After dinner, we carved pumpkins, and apparently the invitation said, "Bring a pumpkin!" and guess who did not, and guess who anticipated I would not and got me a pumpkin? Was it Chris? Is he is in late 20s and I am 100% gray? I really have no recollection of the part where I was supposed to bring my own pumpkin. Honestly, it's like I have ADD. Oooo! Do you think I could get Ritalin and get all thin?

What was I talking about? Pumpkins, right.

So, for some reason, we decided to make super-fancy pumpkins. Because I am so skilled with the crafts.

I was gonna put a bird on it. Chris and Lilly were gonna do a fox head and a riding helmet. Supposedly we were going to poke a kind of stencil around the shape and carve from there. 

Have you met me? Seriously, I wonder if we've met. I am June Gardens. I am good at crafts never.

It was like an installment of Goofus and Gallant. Chris's pumpkin came out looking as it was supposed to. Although in retrospect his fox looks a little like a fox with a Gloria Vanderbilt hairdo. Still.

Mine? Looked like a cyclops eye or something.

Chris totally had to redo mine for me. Did I mention I am good at nothing?

Yeah. I don't know if we put a bird on it so much as a helmet giving the finger. So I guess we put a bird on it, sort of, anyway.

Happy Halloween! 

So there was my day.

And I think somebody finally wore herself out while I was writing this.