Whenever I go to Starbucks, I am annoyed at my own demographic. With the retro jazz music, and the long-sleeve t-shirts under the short-sleeve tshirts--I mean, just wear an appropriate piece of CLOTHING. Don't wear two t-shirts. And with the ironic nerdy glasses and the cake pops.
CAKE POPS. What are we, 10 years old? We're eating cake on lollipops now.
Our generation. I annoy me.
Nevertheless, I had to get me some caffeine yesterday, because although this antiviral medication for my dumb shingles does not make me feel as bad as the doctor warned ("prepare for seven days of the flu") (thanks), it does make me tired, and I had to go to work.
I didn't HAVE to go to work, but a bunch of us divided up this project, and I am splitting it with the new girl, who is kicking ARSE and I felt bad about her doing more than her share, so I went in to get some stuff done so she would not end up a heap of overachieving dust by Thanksgiving.
Then of course I got to work and got online and started fooling around.
First I looked at the comments y'all made on my post from yesterday. Then I checked Facebook. Thank heavens I spent my Sunday at work to get some stuff accomplished. Finally I careened on over to OK Cupid.
OK Cupid is this free dating site that Daniel Boone told me about back when I was still speaking to him. "You should try it," he told me. "It's for smart people." They ask you questions like "Which is larger, the earth or the sun" and then you can say whether you only want people who know the answer (I do only want people who know the answer).
My point is, I had been cruising people for awhile at that site, but yesterday, since I was at work on a Sunday and all and sort of bored, I decided to go on the site and change my status to bisexual.
In case you are scrolling back through my archives for info on all the dates I have had with chicks, I am not remotely bisexual. I don't even like women that much. Most of my friends are men. What does that mean about me, anyway, that most of my friends are men? Am I maladjusted in some way? asks the woman who deceivingly changed her status to bisexual on a dating site.
It took about an hour for The New Bi June to hit the airwaves, but oh! Did I ever explode onto that site. I got a lovely and oh-so-appropriate message from WantsTantric. Some man dressed entirely in Renaissance garb, including a jaunty feather in his hat, sent me a message. Hold my goblet! I even got a message from a married man who is "ready to leave" his wife. Are you? Are you ready? You seem like a nice guy.
I got about 100 views yesterday, whereas normally I get around six. Which leads me to the conclusion I already had--men are ludicrous. I mean, I changed NOTHING ELSE about my profile--same photos, same words to describe me. Just one tweak about me and BAM. I seem more interesting.
I told the Tall Boy I had done this and he said, "That is hot."
Sigh.
The best part is when I got up this morning and had a new message--AND IT WAS FROM DICK WHITMAN.
"You're bisexual?"
I didn't even know he was ON that stupid site. He must have answered the earth/sun question wrong so they never sent him to me as a match.
Is it illegal to date cats? Because I give up.
