First of all, you mean Kris Humphries is available? And what man spells his name K-r-i-s?
I am late today so I must dash through everything at a breakneck pace. Try not to break your neck.
First of all, even though I have already said two things so I am already annoying, how'd you do on trick or treaters last night? We had more than I thought we would, and when I say "we" I mean the pets and me, which is a little sad.
I had to keep the dogs in the back room with the baby gate so they would not eat children, and I had to hold Roger so he wouldn't run out and knock anyone up and/or get swooped up and sacrificed to the devil or whatever we are supposed to be afraid that crazy people do with cats on Halloween. Am trying not to think of Winston being out there.
Anderson enthused over each child's outfit and flapped his paws.
Also, at work, people brought their kids and dogs for trick or treating and my boss brought his Great Pyrenees and you can imagine how calm and unobsessed I was over that. Doug. That is his Great Pyrenees's name. He has big big big pawses. Doug does. How I love Doug. Could I even tell you what my boss's kids dressed up as? I could not.
Also, someone had decorated my cubicle and mine alone in witches and crime tape and 3949493930403040 spiders, and all day I accused everyone in the whole place, mostly Vilhelm Oyster, of doing it, and finally at the end of the day the businesslike worky guy behind me fessed up. He knew I hate spiders and he knew I never get in on time and that he had plenty of opportunity to torment me.
"You'll be finding spiders for months," he told me. Oh, revenge. Revenge is a dish best served by June.
Really, though, it was like a good mystery novel, because in a MILLION YEARS I'd never have guessed him, and there he was, the person right next to me.
I must go and I had so much more to say. Because you have met me and you know how I am. But I wanted your help on something. People are forever saying, "June, you are annoying" and also "June, has it ever occured to you to lose a few pounds?" and also "June, you should write a book."
This always irks me, because I love Pop-Tarts and also because I don't know HOW to write a book. But people keep saying "orientated" and they also keep saying that they know people who would not sit here and read my whole blog, but they WOULD read a book with 20 or 40 or 58849330203 of my funniest blog posts.
THEY ARE ALL FUNNY.
Which ones do you like? I know. You ALLLL like the gas-at-work one. Everyone enjoys it when June has gas. What else? I have to cull. Cull, I tell you.
Oh, and thanks for your ghost stories! This morning I read Hulk's comment that he, too, saw the head of Lincoln in his closet, when he dropped a penny in there. I giggled all the way down my hall, when I got a towel, into the bathroom, and into the shower. Yes, Hulk, I giggled about you while I was naked. And that is probably not the first time you've heard that.
