Bye Bye, Pie!

Oh, is 2011 over? That's too bad.

Somebody might be snuggly-est kitty ever. She slept with the dogs and me last night. There was gonna be none of that "I'm sleeping alone in the guest room" crap for her. At one point I woke up and she... Read more →

Iris Frost

Day two with Pal from MA

Pal from MA is videotaping my matuurity. Also? I guess technically I recorded that one. Whatev. My kitty gets here today. I will leave at lunchtime and get her, and take her home and set her up in the spare... Read more →

Just the tonic

My Pal from MA is here. And for the 9943939494 people who emailed me to say, "Did Pal from MA get there?" OH MY GOD, yes, she got here, and let me take five hours out of her visit to... Read more →

Deep Texts

A text conversation between Hulk and me last night: Hulk: I'm sitting in a bar and they're playing Sleeping Beauty's song. Me: I just wanna use your love toniiiiight! Hulk: I don't blame you....Now I'm re-living the summer of '69.... Read more →

In which the theme song from What's Happenin' is whipped out

I wish Edsel could be any more passionately in love with his grandpappy. Last night my stepfather took a book of poetry to the dining room table (me too) to read because he didn't want to watch Real Housewives (why... Read more →

Dedicated to my pal Sleeping Beauty

I am still entertaining guests, so today I give you a video from our childhoods. Or younger-than-nowhoods. You may have to sit through a 10-second ad of a guy eating the top of a Big Mac. If you love me,... Read more →

Merry Christmas, 2011 Choking Hazard--Do Not Eat.

Do you think I have some kind of issue that I am taking time out from Christmas to blog? I think I have blogged every Christmas since I started this rather all-absorbing hobby, and for that? I am weird. My... Read more →

Of all the June Gardens, I'm the June Gardensiest. Or, your good deeds.

When I started the "let's do good deeds at Christmas" project a few years ago, I was able to list them all. If I did that this year, you'd have to cancel your own Christmas or Cha-neww-ka or pagan ritual... Read more →

Virgin Merry Bailey Ingalls

What I enjoy about myself is my steely resolve and firm self-discipline. Have you met that? Really? Where is it? Because I wasn't gonna TELL you about Virgin Merry Bailey Ingalls until she got here, which will not be till... Read more →

The good news? Not one person has sent me the Rainbow Bridge poem.

Ugh. I don't know whether to take Roger's stocking down, or leave it up and give the treats inside to the dogs, or crawl under the Christmas tree and sob till January 1. In other news, my underwear is missing.... Read more →

Goodbye, my puma

Most of you already read on Facebook or in the comments yesterday that Roger has died. He was only eight months old. And 640 pounds. Roger could open the screen door to the back yard by himself, and he stomped... Read more →

Gift of the Junegi. I realize I make less and less sense as time goes on.

In case you were thinking I was going to stampede to the topic of gifts I have received from people and am just forgetting to tell you that Roger came home, that is in fact not the case. As there... Read more →

Roger

I was trying not to mention this, in the hopes he'd come home. Honestly, I am crushed under the weight of the three thousand things that have gone wrong in my life. I cannot take one more damn thing. Read more →

I left my heart in Lexington at a TGIFriday's. Somehow that's not as catchy of a tune.

Yesterday I took a brief and convenient drive to Kentucky to take Ladybird the dog to go live with her new family. In case this is the very first day you have ever tuned in to this blog--and God help... Read more →

No, go ahead. Say "blogaversary." SAY IT! I dare you.

I just realized that my five-year anniversary of blogging came and went and I did not even notice. It just goes to show you that I suck. Also that I am v.v. busy currently. If you want to know the... Read more →

I'll be back in two and two

Ladybird has a home!! No, not with me. Geez, you all really do think I have a screw loose, don't you? Since I've been obsessively posting about her here and on Facebook, my friend since junior high, Melinda, happened to... Read more →

Party on, June

June might have stayed up way too late partayyin' in TinyTown last night and cannot blog at you today because it is 7:42 and she is in her robe and has cotton in her head even though all she imbibed... Read more →

Miracle of Christmas

I am still sad. A few days back, maybe even a week ago, I said I was gonna take a blog break, because I was sad, and then apparently because I can never shut up, I continued blogging. But sad... Read more →

You've got the teeth of a hydra upon you. You're dirty sweet and you're my girl. (Have you ever paid attention to the lyrics to Bang a Gong? It has nothing whatsoever to do with this post. Still.)

First of all, Dick Whitman finally emailed me pictures from when he really was over on Sunday. He was pretty taken by my adult, not-at-all-excessively-pink ornaments. What if I meet some sort of really manly man, and I fall deeply... Read more →

June decorates. Because this is a crafting decorating blog. Tomorrow we'll discuss recipes.

Yesterday, my friend Laurie and my non-boyfriend Dick Whitman came over, because I forced them to decorate my house for Christmas for me. It was good to see the old decorations again. You kind of wonder what they do all... Read more →

May the road rise with you

I like how I said yesterday that I WASN'T getting a dog. I believe my quote was, "...and getting a dog is not on my roster," yet somehow the comments morphed into should she or shouldn't she, and then they... Read more →

June's inner Marvin: I HAVE SPOKEN!

I have much to do today, although one of the things on my roster does not include getting a dog. I am Facebook friends with Tallulah and Edsel's dog daycare, because isn't everyone friends with their dogs' dog daycare? And... Read more →

Mrs. Winner

I finally couldn't stand it anymore and called the mammogram place. "Hooty-Hoot Center of Greensboro." Okay. They should totally really name it that. Or, 'Is It Cold In Here?' Center of Greensboro. "Your Headlights Are On!" of Greater Greensboro. Gazongas... Read more →

Cardinal

My high school boyfriend Cardinal got separated around the same time I did. I may have ruined all the pictures I have of us. I may have been bitter when we broke up. Nice fillings on my part, though. They... Read more →

The first noel, the angels did woof

Even though Faithful Reader Laurie TOTALLY COCKBLOCKED me, Ima show you my dog nativity scene. And see? If you do not read the comments and/or you are not on Pie on the Face--the Facebook group for people who do not... Read more →

Apparently my blog break has lasted about as long as that man break I took in October

Although really I've got nothing of import to tell you. One of the other reasons I am berserk right now, other than the part where I ONCE AGAIN had a burgeoning romance implode, is that it is time for my... Read more →

Posy

You guys. One of my favorite bloggers, Posy Gets Cosy, wrote a post I just found. I knew she was adopting a baby but I didn't know this happened http://rosylittlethings.typepad.com/posie_gets_cozy/2011/11/well-things-fell-apart.html . My stupid life is nothing compared to this. Read more →

June is still sad and taking a blog break, but Marvin was funny and who cannot help but check in?

In case you are one of the nine hundred million people who do not read me on weekends, and I for one resent it, I announced the good-deeds paring yesterday. If you did not get on the list for whatever... Read more →

Good deeds

It is time to pair up with your partner and do good deeds. Which I just spelled "doo," and try not to doo on your partner. Unless you are into that sort of thing, and if you are please keep... Read more →

At laaaaaaast!

Now that my life is back to normal, I mean, as normal as the life of someone with this hair and 34959502 pets can be, I can finally show all y'all the pictures you sent me on Thanksgiving day last... Read more →