Bye Bye, Pie!

Don't you wish your blogger was hot like me. In other news, I continue to make no sense. Also, text. It has a past tense.

Last night I worked late, and I got Ned drunk even though I wasn't there, and I took another 45-minute walk with the dogs and my foot is KILLING me, and now I have to go to work. If you... Read more →

Zen

Yesterday was one of those run-around-y days where you don't get a single solitary damn moment to yourself for a minute. My boss was out sick, and TinaDoris was working on a big project, which left all the everyday work... Read more →

The quiche of now

Sometimes, I get so busy telling you one story, like about Ned's horrid day, that I forget to tell you the other things I meant to say, and really this whole blog is like we're at dinner and I'm dominating... Read more →

In which Ned, who doesn't cook, said, "Let's cook!" to June. Who doesn't cook.

The holiday weekend yawned before us, and Ned, who enjoys food and eating and talking about food and eating and perusing menus to decide what to eat and then discussing it, said, "We should grill out at your house." I... Read more →

June's Showcase Showdown

By the way, I get to tell you the Very Exciting Thing in less than a week. At this point I've built up Very Exciting Thing so much that unless I announce I am the next pope, you'll be let... Read more →

The one where you're probably gonna feel pretty bad for Ned

Yesterday, there was a Very Important Sporting Event on, and you can imagine how I've thought of little else. But despite my complete indifference to said Very Important Sporting Event, Ned was all up in it. "There's a very important... Read more →

I bought a toothbrush

Last night, I went to Ned's. He seemed to have packed a lot of living into his dwelling in the few days since I'd been there. A huge golf bag was in the living room, and some aloe vera gel... Read more →

Come on, Precious

I forgot to tell you that when I ran into that little kid the other night from the neighborhood, the kid who used to own Snowflake before his untimely postman-eating demise, she had a question for me. "Do you have... Read more →

We admitted we were powerless

Last night, I came home from work and stampeded to the refrigerator as if I were an 8th-grade boy, and the light was out in there. "Well, crap," I thought. "I've never replaced a refrigerator lightbulb in all my days.... Read more →

The Resistance

Two German shepherds have moved in to the house around the corner, and their back yard faces ours. There used to be other dogs who lived back there, and Edsel and Tallulah would run the length of the fence with... Read more →

Just Bee

I'll tell you what. Yesterday I told you Tallulah wasn't feeling well, but I did not know I'd be BURYING HER IN MY MIND by noon. Tallulah had been kind of shaking her head in this weird way over the... Read more →

The one where PJ wears a June suit

Tallulah is sick, and we are going to the vet at 11:00. All she wanted to do last night was squish up next to me and have me hold her hot pitty head. Do dogs' heads get hot when they... Read more →

We Be Free

I just got back from getting my roots done, which interfered with my usual going-to-the-movies-with-Ned thing, but you'll be relieved to know we're going to a movie today anyway. I don't know what we're going to see: we have a... Read more →

Killer Queen

I have to run to my work picnic this afternoon, but I wanted to scream over here and tell you that when I got home yesterday, Edsel ran to the door like my arrival was a miracle, as he always... Read more →

Oh, and who sent me the BB Creme from South Korea? 'Fess up.

I want you to know I did everything I was supposed to yesterday. Here I am drinking water like it's going out of style after giving the dogs a 45-minute walk. And yes, my plantar fasciitis IS killing me today.... Read more →

You wrote it, you watch it

I overslept, so now I have to scream to work in a panic, and at lunchtime I have to do my stupid stupid stupid 45 minutes of physical activity, then after work I have pet therapy. Not that my pets... Read more →

Cubism

God, I love coffee. Don't you? I have never understood those soda-in-the-morning people. Blech. June's blog. Getting shut off one-handedly while people hold their Diet Cokes in the other hand, since 2013. I do, though. I love it. And I... Read more →

Because you hate yourself.

Yesterday was a dumb day, in which the phrase "emergency dental visit" was used, and I will tell you about all that and also force you to read about my weekend right here, right now. June's blog. Come for the... Read more →

I can't even

The rest of the weekend was inexplicable, but don't worry. I will go into excruciating detail tomorrow. In the meantime, what's with my 3-D bosoms? Oh, also? Always use sunscreen. (c) Daniel Boone Photography Read more →

P.S.

I am absurdly in love with this man. Sent from my iPhone Read more →

On the beach

Hangin' out with my crow's feet out. Sent from my iPhone Read more →

Technicolor Dream...lips

Faithful Reader Paula sent me some lipstick to play with, because she knows me too well even though in fact she does not know me at all. There is no quicker way to my loins than to send me makeup.... Read more →

Dumb things I've been doing instead of blogging.

It's sad when you have to justify living your life instead of blogging about your life. Nevertheless, here's what I've been up to: Ned-ing. Not only did we have a fabulous time watching Gone With the Wind, and when I... Read more →

Breaking news. Bah!

I can tell I will have no time to blop at you today, but please note my wish bracelet broke, and everyone who is in the bracelet-breaking pool pay up! Chelsea in TX is the big winner. Just send your... Read more →

Tongue in wine. I'll never go hungry again.

The other day, Ned and I went to the grocery store, and when we returned I said, "Crap. I'm almost completely out of dog food. I forgot." "Let's go back," said Ned. "Is there anything else you need to get?"... Read more →

Mulch Ado About Nothing

In case anyone was worried sick and pacing the floors and writing his or her congressman demanding answers, I did not get the glasses. This is not to say I won't go BACK there, because they give you the whole... Read more →

Do you like these?

Sent from my iPhone Read more →

Bye Bye, Pie: Extreme Makeover Edition.

Because who doesn't want to look like a hagged-out 47-year-old, I finally acquiesced and decided to do a makeup tutorial today. I act like millions of you have been absolutely clamoring, and spearheading an email campaign, and painting "Do a... Read more →

So natural

Look how horrified Chris and Lilly's baby is. to get away from beeg hairs pleese. she not maturnil. I might have to work late, but if I don't, I will come home and blog about makeup. I know! I really... Read more →

I'm busybusybusybusy. Thank heavens for Angie's List.

There is little that annoys me more than that Angie's List commercial where the woman looks so smug and says, "I'm busybusybusybusy." Oh shut up. No, you're not. You're distracting yourself from your inevitable demise, is what you're doing. As... Read more →