I am on hold with the IRS. It is Wednesday evening and I have been on the phone with them for 40 minutes. Usually I blog in the morning, but as I am hostage, what the heck.
I was just about to leave work today when I got to talking to Deb Downer, the woman at work who sent us all the link about the dreadful things a margarita does to your body, on the afternoon everyone was going out for margaritas. Despite this, she is in fact a likable person. Yes, her license plate reads Run4Fun or something equally awful, and yes she only gets gum out the vending machine and YES, she brings water to birthday celebrations so she doesn't eat cake, BUT BELIEVE IT OR NOT SHE IS STILL LIKABLE.
Anyway, please remind me to show you the thing she and I were talking about today, which kept me late, which got the attention of my boss, who gave me work to take home.
Crap. However, I got the work done, then said as long as I'm already tense and nervous and can't relax, I might as well call the IRS. Because apparently I owe money to them, and did everyone forget the part where I DID NOT WORK LAST YEAR? But when I DID work, it was freelance and none of that was taxed, so yeah. Working out a payment plan and/or offering my nubile self up to whoever will take me over there at the IRS.
So since I'm just sitting here listening to the same piano piece, which I have invented words for:
You're.in.big.trouble.Owe.the.IRS.You're.in.big.trouble.Owe.the.IRS.
I wish you were on hold with me. It fits perfectly.
SO SINCE I'M SITTING HERE, I decided to look up your BLOG PHOTOS. A few months back, like 80, I asked you to send in your picture to me, and if you actually titled it BLOG PHOTO, I'd be able to find it in my 70,000 emails and show your face to the Bye Bye, Pie world. Such as it is.
What is sad is 10349492030424242443 people did this, along with some annoying folk who wrote BLAWG FOTO, and guess what, your picture's not getting in, and anyway I still have a large number of you to show off. Why not do a search now? Since I'm jamming out to
You're.in.big.trouble.Owe.the.IRS.You're.in.big.trouble.Owe.the.IRS.
So let's begin. Shall we?
This person DID NOT give me her blog name, but I know this is everyone's favorite reader, The Zadge. I only now that cause I've read her blog, but if you didn't tell me your commenter name or blog name in your photo, I'm using the real thing, along with your home address, phobias and bank PIN. Anyway, cute shot!
Here's MissPam. Awww. I can tell I would love her. Unless she's squeezing a dead kitten in her hands, there.
Linda from NE likes to read my blog while she drinks coffee. I would, too. You gotta stay awake through this drivel SOMEHOW.
Cheesekate says she lurks from Canada. She looks like that one actress. You know the one. That one. She was in The Green Mile. That one. Not Bonnie Hunt. The one who had the brain tumor and the guy saved her. SPOILER ALERT!
Either Amy in MD is reading a large book or she is extremely tiny. Or I have a fever.
Amanda says she reads all day long. HI, AMANDA! You can see this ALL DAY TODAY! In other news, she has barnacled herself to this man and he seems okay with it.
Did I already put this one of Tammy VV up? I know it's her Facebook photo and that's what might be throwing me off. I spend hours a day looking at this picture of Facebook. Am in love with Tammy VV. Wish to wear Tammy VV skin suit.
What?
NITHYA! Nithya lives in London and she seems like fun. And possibly a drunk, based on this picture.
Here is Katie D. If you read the What Season Are You post from the other day, you can see she is clearly a winter. She looks good in the pure white.
Mona claims to be a lurker, but don't we hear from a Mona every once in awhile? Could there be two? Now I feel like The Count. Two Monas! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhhh.
Sara(h) with an H is my people.
Pendy looks like that one actress. You know the one. In Gremlins. That one. No, she doesn't look like one of the bad Gremlins. That's not what I'm saying. God. Way to stir up trouble.
Cuckoobirdlane has been framed.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Wait. Let me reflect on that comment.
BAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! I am still on hold with the IRS, by the way. Good gravy.
Here's Becky in East Texas. She's worried this picture will be big, but everything's bigger in Texas.
Tee! Tee has been reading me forever. She is cute.
MamaMags is on the far right. She has never met the rest of these people in her entire life. Was just trying to lean on a fence in her neutrals. Geez. People are so intrusive nowadays.
Emmaleena has June hair, except cute.
Terry is from Texas, where I seem to be huge. Did I already mention everything's bigger in Texas? June. Bigger in Texas.
Okay, HOW LONG AGO did I start this dreadful project that I am looking at people's snow pictures and just putting them up now? This is Sheri in Colorado, though, so this coulda been taken last week.
Behold Lisajay99 and her giant drinks. She is from (sit down) Texas. Hey, everything's bigger in Texas.
Who is over me? Is it all of you?
I owe $2,100 to the IRS. I just hung up with Kevin, who was very nice but refused the offer of my body and wants the $2,100. This is when it sucks to be 47.
DeDe wants you to know she is on the left and her attention whore sister is over yonder on the right.
Here's my friend in real life Sleeping Beauty, who seems awake, and her child Josie, who seems to want all of us to stop effing looking at her. I do not understand that emotion.
Okay, three more and then I MUST go do something fun. My day started out great and has gone steadily downhill. I am so nudging Ned right now with that last sentence. Hi, Ned. Nudge.
Here's Nelson's Mama, who I know has commented many times, and who I think I would like, if we didn't have this phony cyber relationship.
Jill Munroe, who I DO know in real life, but we still have a phony relationship. KIDDING! I heart you, JM.
Megsie says this was taken a few years ago, before she let herself go. Which made me giggle. Megsie always leaves NICE comments. She is the Gallant of comments. Megsie never corrects June's typos when she comments. Megsie doesn't complain that June didn't talk about what SHE wanted her to talk about that day. Megsie never says, "Your photos suck, June."
Megsie is perfection. She is the chili cheese dog from Sonic of commenters.
Anyway, the good news is I have TWENTY THOUSAND MORE to show you, and dudes, I'm trying, man. I really am. Oh, and who wrote me after and said, "I changed my mind! Don't put my picture up!" because hey, try to find THAT email in my thousands of them! That's happening! Anyway, tell me who you are so I can delete your image.
I hope you enjoyed this trip through our readers' livers. I just made that up. It kind of made me think of those old Reader's Digest articles: "I am Bob's liver." "I am June's skull. On the outside, am so weighed down. Yet my insides are so light and devoid of depth."
XO, June. Of the owing the IRS Junes.
