Bye Bye, Pie!

I'm Your Venus

Today is payday, which is good, because as of yesterday I had $31 in checking and $67 in savings. And I'd been hacking at myself with a dull razor. I don't mean I was Sylvia Plath-ing out because I'm destitute.... Read more →

Will you look at the TIME?

I am running horrifically late, a fact I blame on Ned and his alluringness. So because I have to be at work in SEVEN MINUTES and here I am blogging, let's have a Very Special Episode of Bye Bye, Pie.... Read more →

What do the crippled folk do?

It "snowed" here. dis it? even edz not impress. Edsel somehow manages to look more dignified when he's outdoors. Maybe it's because his underbite isn't as apparent, or his ears are dwarfed when you compare them to the solar system.... Read more →

My Unnatural History

The fun thing about having a blog is the part where I get to take a lot of pictures of myself and pretend it's "for my blog" when you know perfectly well most times I just blow those photos up... Read more →

Who's this "Karen"?

I am ridiculous. Hello, everyone. It's Monday. and my blown-out hair is starting to look a little ragged. The whole all-straight look is so foreign to my locks, it's like it's fighting to make its wavy self known again. So... Read more →

FogJune LegJune

I think I've been pretty subtle about this, but Ned has been gone all week and I was vaguely aware that he was gone. YAY! NED IS BACK!!! Here's a picture he sent me from the Natural History museum. Ned... Read more →

Rooster

Ned comes home today!! Ned comes home today!!!! Did I mention Ned will be back? He won't be back till late late late, though, which annoys. All the work part of his trip is done, so why can't he stampede... Read more →

Swoop

There are many things I've been meaning to tell you, then I get here to my computer and forget. I am doing the same thing with Ned, who is finally in New York, and every time we talk or email... Read more →

Come Dancin'

For some reason, I feel dance-y today, and started thinking about my favorite dance scenes in movies. FLASHDANCE I saw Flashdance when I was 18, and Alex, Jennifer Beals' character in the movie, was 18. Oh, how I wanted to... Read more →

Winter Storm 2014

We had a pretty dramatic accumulation of less than half an inch of snow, and I was hoping they'd delay work today, but no. Don't even laugh. They closed school early yesterday because it might could snow. "Might could" is... Read more →

The splendor of me

As most of you know, I also write for a website called Purple Clover. I know. You can't get the eff away from me. I also edit my company's newsletter. Soon I'll be writing your entire local newspaper (your sports... Read more →

The traditional year-two gift is a sparkly squirrel

In case you were worried that I up and died like Mr. Bojangles' dog, first of all let me give you a hand off the Drama Express, and also let me fill you in on my weekend of working and... Read more →

Cut soap

Faithful Reader Karla wrote me at one o'clock this morning to say every year, on the third of June, she and her friend call each other to say, "It's the third of June, another sleepy dusty Delta day." I know... Read more →

A long December. An even longer post.

While I'd love to stay and talk about Billie Joe McAllister some more, I thought I'd finally recap for you what I did in December, which was celebrate Christmas and so on. Which I hate. Christmas, I mean. And now... Read more →

Ode

The open floor plan they've implemented at work has indeed fostered important conversations. "What exactly DID Billie Joe and his girlfriend throw off the Tallahatchie Bridge?" my boss asked. "I always figured it was a baby," I said. "A BABY?... Read more →

Flap

Yesterday's comments were riveting. I have nothing interesting to ask you today, and I am sorry. I know I still need to tell you about my long December, but telling you about my months that I wasn't here requires me... Read more →

Your Cheatin' Heart

Guess who stayed out too late, going to Charlie's fundraiser and all? Could it be philanthropists Ned and June? Do you count as philanthropists when all you did was buy tickets, buy drinks, buy one of the tshirts and silently... Read more →

My pal Chas

Today I'm going to a fundraiser for my friend Charlie, who fell in a stupid freak accident in August 2012 and is now paralyzed. Here he is a few years back when he thought orange hair might be an idea.... Read more →

Legend of the Fall

You aren't even going to believe what freaking happened to me today. "NedKitty has a vet appointment first thing Saturday," Ned told me, not remotely using the name "NedKitty" because it's the dumbest name on earth. However, he HAS told... Read more →

Sweet November

Did you ever see that depressing movie, Sweet November, with Sandy Dennis looking annoyingly perky despite the fact that she is dying? I just ruined the movie for you, and you're welcome. You've had 40 years to see it, so... Read more →

Iris Murders Christmas

I am running late today, so I will not run down every single detail that happened in November, but I will tomorrow. I know! Lucky you. I took down the Christmas decorations, finally, and piled them on the table so... Read more →

My October, by June Gardens. Or 10, by June Gardens. A month and June's rating.

I just did the thing where I opened my picture file on my desktop and looked through October's pictures, and I'd like to thank the nice people at Apple or wherever who came up with the idea, Hey! Let's put... Read more →

In which King Wenceslas is brought up. As you do. WELL I DO!

Yesterday was reDONKulous and I never got a chance to write anything bloggy. (And Dear Ned, you are very welcome for "reDONKulous." I know how you love it.) I overslept, and what woke me up was my ludicrous Christmas clock... Read more →

Rage Against the Ke$ha

Because I'm sporting my sexy shortie robe, I have spread on this chair the afghan my grandmother knitted for me in 1977. It has a tag on it: Made especially for you, by Grandma. It is the cutest thing. Seeing... Read more →

Eiffel

I'm at Ned's in my Eiffel Tower pajamas. Am wondering how upside-down this picture will be. 360 degrees? 180? It's a little adventure. Sent from my iPhone Read more →

Blue is the Kattiest Color

Have I mentioned that Facebook thinks my dog is a lesbian? They keep putting ads like this on the side of her page (Tallulah Gardens, should you want to friend-request her or go on a girl date). I wonder what... Read more →

Sister Lu is screaming out somebody else's name

That title has nothing to do with anything. I was just singing it to Tallulah, who seems to be over me singing anything to her. I love The Black Crowes. I'm just like Kate Hudson that way. Once, I was... Read more →

New year. Same me.

I just got back from a Loving Kindness meditation downtown, where everyone got on my nerves. Seriously, y'all. It was at noon, and one of the 17,000 people named Alex at my job reminded me I should go. Have I... Read more →