Bye Bye, Pie!

Get Your Freak On with June

As I said the other day, and why don't you pay attention to me when I'm talking, on Fridays, I will report for you a freaky story told to me by a reader. Several have rolled in, and here's the... Read more →

Yes, Hulk, I talk about this every year. Say, how 'bout you grab a ladder and get over it?

Six years ago today, I was living in TinyTown, North Carolina, and I was headed to Raleigh for a job interview, just like Barney Fife. Remember when Barney and Andy would go there and they'd play the big-city music? It's... Read more →

lowercase. and points.

I'm glad you liked yesterday's post about my coworker Bill's near-death experience. It has inspired to me feature a New Thing here on this blog: Freaky Fridays. I know. How did you ever think of such an original name, June?... Read more →

June's coworker dies. Tells us about it. I KNOW, dude.

Not that long ago, a bunch of us here at work went to lunch together, as we are wont to do, and one of my coworkers, Bill, told us the story of his near-death experience and I.was.riveted. So I asked... Read more →

I am feeling blue

What do you do when you feel awful? Do you just carry on and smile and act like a huge phony or do you fall over and moan like Rosie on The Jetsons? I was just trying to find that... Read more →

When Junes attack

As one of Ned's gifts for Christmas, I got him a Sunday delivery of The New York Times, which in case you think is cheap is not. Like everything in New York, it is expensive and ridic. My father once... Read more →

June. Making the rockin' world go 'round since 2006.

So we had our first official Weight Watchers meeting at work yesterday. I had a harrowing--HARROWING!!--week at work, so all I was able to do was weigh in and leave. And lemme tell you, that was enough. The sumo wrestlers... Read more →

Found a peanut. Ate it.

I had the most uncomfortable dream just before I woke up, and don't you hate people who tell you about their dreams? I was back in LA, and it was New Year's Eve, and I was alone on a crowded... Read more →

The somnolent powers of Ned

I finally slept last night, thank GOD. You have no idea how grateful you can be for the mere act of sleeping, if you haven't slept. Or maybe you do. I note a lot of middle-of-the-night-I'm-not-sleeping posts on Facebook. Is... Read more →

pingpingchingpongpongpingchingchong

Remember yesterday when I told you that I woke up in the middle of the night and my thoughts went pingpingchingpongpongpingchingchong? I know that sounded vaguely Asian, and my thoughts did not go Asian. You know what I mean. They... Read more →

Because jazz is like the inside of my head, that's why.

I did that thing where I woke up in the middle of the night and my brain went for an hour. FYI: I abhor jazz. Would you like to torment me? Play me some jazz. Jazzzzzz. Good Lord. So now... Read more →

What did baby corn say to mom corn? "Where's popcorn?"

Shazbot. Nothing's wrong, I just felt like saying "shazbot."

I hope all y'all all had good Valentine's Days; I had a lovely time. Because it's my holiday. And I am the gross kind of in love. And all that. Ned sent me beautiful red tulips, and I wonder if... Read more →

I love Valentine's Day

Officially over the word "snowpacalypse"

So, hey, it snowed here. If you're Facebook friends with anyone from the South, you probably already know that. You probably know that a LOT. One woman brought her child to work yesterday, a child who was about 18 months... Read more →

In which June says "six to ten inches" and tries to stay mature

Every morning here is the same. The stupid annoying alarm goes off and Edsel LEAPS off the bed and runs out, as though someone is ringing shots into the bedroom. Tallulah stays where she is, with her head on the... Read more →

Bye-bye, pie

Dooce did a juice cleanse for several days and feels great. I tried to buy an almost-expired blueberry pie on sale at the store last night, but my ATM card was rejected. So I came home and ate Kraft Macaroni... Read more →

Almost parRODise

Am certain you are champing at bit to hear the rest of my shower curtain rod story, which I began yesterday. I'd hate to leave you HANGING. Get it? Do you? Ned and I went to Target to return the... Read more →

My rod and my wrath

On Friday night, Ned and I were having a night in, as part of our fiscal responsibility plan. I was making salmon the way I like it (coated in brown sugar, balsamic vinegar and pretentious brown mustard), new potatoes and... Read more →

June manages her lunch.

This morning, I alerted you that I was running late, for a change, because I embrace the morning, and I asked you what I should write about when I come home at lunch. I was expecting more: "Write about THIS... Read more →

June is not a good manager of her time. Or money. Or hair. Oh, hell.

If I am running late, we all know who to blame, and his initials are N-E-D. But this time we can also blame my coworkers, who we joined at some sort of pool hall last night, because you know what... Read more →

Guest post by LaUral: Lunch with Ned and June (or, The Day the Sun Shone on LaUral)

Last week, Faithful Reader LaUral had lunch with Ned and me, and because this is such a spectacular experience, she wrote a guest post about it. Or maybe I just said, "Write a guest post." Whichever. Last week sucked. Not... Read more →

Flamingo

I saw that Lenda Dunham was on the cover of Vogue this month. Do you know who she is? Lena Dunham writes and stars in that show Girls that's on HBO. I don't have HBO because I am not rich.... Read more →

Thoughts that ran through my head while some animal chewed my attic last night

I was fast asleep last night (Here was me: "Zzzzzzz") (No, you're welcome) when for some reason I was jolted awake. I was in a total dog sandwich, as I always am, pinned to one position, and I wonder why... Read more →

One where June talks about different stuff and all of it's useful

Because I am covering several topics today, I will divide them into categories. Today's categories will be divided by Things I Know About Football. A. Footballs are brown. I feel terrible about Philip Seymour Hoffman and his dead self. I... Read more →

I'm not sure "every little ting" IS all right, seeing as I have cornrows

Marvin has, in fact, provided video from our early married days. I just spent 240 hours trying to embed this damn video onto this blog and I can't. So here. Here is a link to click. You're gonna want to... Read more →

Scowly Ned

This morning Ned and I went to a diner, and he was in a mood. Who do you think was delighted to have his photo taken, then, and become eventual blog fodder? I think a cranky Ned is a cute... Read more →