If you didn't have to be living your regular life today: going to work, slopping hogs, shooting up, taking kids to school, being a prima ballerina, robbing a bank, managing a 7-Eleven, doing six loads of laundry, doing green Jello shots...If you didn't have to do any of those routine things and you could be anyone or anywhere, what would you be doing today?
I would be 35 pounds lighter, lying on a yacht in the South of France, with Jake Gyllenhal bringing me eggs benedict and an emerald. To celebrate St. Patrick's Day.
What's sad about my scenario is I just wrote that down and thought, God, eggs benedict sound delicious. Like, that was the BEST PART to me. Which explains why I don't weigh 35 pounds less than I do.
Okay, you?
