Bye Bye, Pie!

She died doing what she loved...

My head is killing me, and despite today's title, I'm not dead but I wish I were. I've had this damn migraine on and off since Thursday, and today it's bad bad bad. As Olivia Soprano used to say, I... Read more →

Things I believe. Things I don't believe.

I believe... ...that most people are good. ...that sushi is overrated. ...that most people are telling the truth. ...that the sun is better for you than they currently think it is. ...that almost nothing is absolute. The stuff I was... Read more →

The Return of the Ned

Of course you knew I'd be running late today, what with the Ned-ding, right? Fortunately, I do have visual aids for you today. Oh, not that, you perv. Yesterday I was in here meditating and please note this is not... Read more →

The thing is, the line, "That bootie talkin' to me" is never part of my lexicon.

I hate to think of myself as someone who has only white, college-educated friends (the same as me), but mostly I have white, college-educated friends. I guess that happens, right? You end up making friends mostly with people of the... Read more →

The one where June gets kind of sad without Ned.

I guess I'm up. I slept terribly. I was kind of afraid this would happen: I was fine all week without Ned, because, I guess, we do have weeknights where we don't see each other. Four weeknights in a row?... Read more →

I think this week's been freaky enough

so I'm not Freaky Friday-ing today, if that's okay with everyone. I've barely gotten a chance to talk to you. Dang. As I mentioned in some other what-I'm-certain-was-annoying post, Ned has been gone all week. He was in Las Vegas,... Read more →

Hawk Look. Or, Teeth of the Hydra Upon You.

It is Wednesday evening and I am finally trusting Typepad enough to tell you the rest of my Easter weekend, and there I go being insensitive to other religions again. I didn't even CELEBRATE Easter, so I don't know why... Read more →

In the room the women come and go, talking of Michelangelo

This site's gonna be the death of me. Typepad is STILL having problems and this thing comes and goes constantly. When I went to log in today, I got the big warning you get sometimes about how I was logging... Read more →

Fang

When I got up today, I was convinced I wouldn't be able to get on my blog again. How disconCERTing, the whole of Typepad being broken for that long. Fang. "Fang." Goddammit. I've lost my ability to type since this... Read more →

When I said I was broke, I meant me, not my blog. Yeesch.

I do not trust that this will even work; Typepad's been broken for days, and one thing that was fun was watching people yell at Typepad on Facebook. "MY BLOG IS CRUCIAL TO THE SURVIVAL OF THE SPECIES!!!" Anyway. I'll... Read more →

Not dead

I know you're wondering where I am, but the truth is I got a letter from the IRS saying I owe even more than I thought, and I wouldn't even bring it up, because everyone's finances are sucky these days,... Read more →

My gouda with Alex

Yesterday after work, I got together with people from work, 4939292 of whom are named Alex. We met up at the pretentious bookstore downtown, and eventually there were so many of us that we had to move to the back... Read more →

The one where you wish June weren't quite so well-rested

Last night? I shut the dogs out and slept alone. I am a terrible dog mother. I might be the worst dog mother since that awful woman starved that Pit Bull and left him in the laundry chute (oh, he's... Read more →

Look at me!

On Sunday, I went with Ned to a baptism in his family. I know you're sick and tired of hearing about Ned and me getting up early and being at a church on Sunday. But there we were again. In... Read more →

peeee peee peeee peeee

I'm gonna tell you what I did this weekend, and it'll be just like when you're at the coffeemaker at work, and you ask someone how their weekend was, and they drone on about it for 78 minutes. So get... Read more →

Band on the run. If I were a band. Which I'm not. So.

I am on the road today. Again. I just couldn't wait to get on the road again. Oh my god what is wrong with me? I have to scream on over to Chapel Hill today, because my friends Chris and... Read more →

Take a letter, Maria. The letter "F." For Freaky Friday.

Guess what I still don't have. I STILL don't have permission to tell Hulk's story. Oh my god I am the worst. I will tell it as soon a I can. In the meantime, Marty Martin and his girlfriend Kayeeee... Read more →

The part where you're irked that you tuuuuuuned in today

Due to the small detail where I have to ask someone permission to tell the latest hard-hitting news about Hulk's sex life, and due to the part where I did not get ahold of said person in order to GET... Read more →

My lunch with June

I am making a turkey burger (7 points) and while it's cooking, I will blog at you. Although I hate to interrupt the extremely disturbing commenting going on from the small post I left this morning. Anyway, how are you... Read more →

Running late

because I was Ned-ing. I will write when I come home for lunch. In the meantime, if you haven't read yesterday's comments, I highly suggest you do, but get ready to be spun in 40 directions. Also be ready for... Read more →

In which Billy Jo McAllister may've jumped off the Tallahatchee Bridge, but June has not.

Okay, I think things are fine now. But thank you, everyone, for standing in my doorway yesterday. (In case you are new and wonder what the Sam Hill everyone was talking about in the comments yesterday when they said they... Read more →

Yeah, no

I still feel awful. I will try to write tomorrow. Read more →

Keepin' it real

Everything is not okay. Yes, again. And I feel awful. Yes, again. But I will write you at lunchtime. I didn't sleep last night so I got up as late as I possibly could and now I have to go... Read more →

Right here right now

I left the nine hundred seventy billion thousand and forty-six dead leaves that I am attempting to rake up in the back yard and came in here to blog at you very fast. Here I am. The one that you... Read more →

Get'chur freak on. It's Friday.

It's time for another installment of our weird Friday stories. This person just identifies herself (I THINK this was a girl. She emailed me in scented font) as a longtime lurker. She wants me to make up a name for... Read more →

Do you think God CALLS it a poop list, or something sort of more regal?

You know, there are a lot of people God should hate more than me. Zooey Deschanel, for example. But no. I seem to be at the top of the list. Okay, I guess things could be worse. I could be... Read more →

And like a good neighbor, June Gar is there

Well, I hope everyone in my life is happy. I officially give up on April Fool's Day. You all GO AROUND, CALLING each other, so thanks. I'm done. I am not even going to try anymore. When I go to... Read more →

June, who doesn't ask for much, just WANTS HER DAY

As many of you know, today is my day. It is my holiday. It is a day I wake up gleeful, and go to bed giggling at my own self. I heart April Fool's Day. So bad, I do. The... Read more →

Organized

I had to run out the door this a.m., but what should I write about at lunch? Read more →