As many of you know, today is my day. It is my holiday. It is a day I wake up gleeful, and go to bed giggling at my own self. I heart April Fool's Day. So bad, I do.
The problem? Is that every other yahoo in the UNIVERSE is trying to cockblock my day. I JUST WANT TO FOOL PEOPLE. Is that too much to ask? Is it?
My stepfather warned my mother last night, which he ALWAYS does and otherwise she'd have completely forgotten the date and WHY, stepfather? WHY?
Then, when I called my Aunt Kathy from work today to tell her Paul McCartney mentioned her on the Today Show this morning, she said, "Your mother already called and warned me it's April Fool's Day, June."
I AM RELATED TO A BUNCH OF COCKBLOCKERS, is what I am, and they RUIN MY FUN. Goddammit.
Oh, and also? You know how my alarm clock is broken, in case you're keeping some kind of June's Every Move journal or something? Last night I called Ned and asked if he'd call me this morning to make sure I woke up. I used my phone's alarm, but I wanted to be sure that worked. And yes, I was secretly thinking, Oh my god, this is PERFECT. It'll be early, he'll be vulnerable, and he probably won't have thought yet about what day it will be.
"Okay, June, I'll call you in the morning, then," said Ned, who is dutiful.
"Okay, talk to you in the a.m.!" I tried to keep the excitement out of my voice.
"Oh, and sweetheart?" he asked, smooth as silk. SMOOTH AS SILK!
"Yes?"
"Don't even try it."
%#@@&%!!
