Has anyone else noted that the Secret brand has taken over all the deodorants? I am about to run out of my Secret Outlast Completely Clean, which every time I look at that name on my deodorant I think of this song:
.
Okay, that video was really annoying. Just play the damn song.
My POINT is, I'm about to run out of my Outkast deodorant, and I am not brand loyal at all, really, so I will happily look at your Arid Extra Drys or your Sures and you know what? There will be, like, four of those and 49939303 Secret scents. Why?
A few years back, I went a whole year without spending money, and I bought a particular scent of (Secret, of course) deodorant that smelled exactly like a new doll, and every time I used it I was in agony, but I had to live through the whole container because I was Not Spending. For months I was Baby Alive.
I have no idea how I got off on this tangent.
My point is, running low on deodorant. June's blog. Come for the stupid thoughts. Stay for 40 paragraphs on the stupid thought.
I was GETTING on this blog to tell you about how Ned and I had the world's most irritating evening last night, when all we were doing was trying to get to a movie called Tim's Vermeer, which was really good, but it's like God and everyone on God's staff was trying everything possible to not get us there. But now I am running late because I was telling you about deodorant and also IMing with my ex-spouse on Facebook about absolutely nothing (Rush, his college roommate, someone named Daisy and someone else named Taisy) and now I have six seconds to get to work.
So I will leave you with this deep question. The other day I was talking about how as a kid I took ballet for four years. Then one week I missed ballet because I had the chicken pox (which still vexes me to this day. See SHINGLES), and when I got back to ballet the next week, all the students knew the positions in English and French. I kind of already knew this info, but we'd clearly been given a formal lesson, the point being that later that spring we were all to head to Detroit to take this test where you do all the ballet positions in French and English, and if you pass the test you get to go on to toe shoes.
I'd been OBSESSED with getting toe shoes, and all I would have had to do is ask the teacher for five minutes after class to run down the positions with me, sort of give me a refresher, and I assure you I'd have been caught up.
Instead, I panicked because I felt left behind, so after class I told my parents, "I don't want to do ballet anymore," and guess who was sick of recitals and rehearsals and buying me leotards, because they were all, Okay! Great! And that was the end of my stellar ballet career.
I always wish I had continued it, because I loved it, and I could now be a very snooty retired ballerina who lived on coffee and cigarettes and whose feet were all fucked up, and I desperately wish that were my story but it's not. I'm just some schlub who dropped out of ballet before her OBVIOUS talent was realized.
So, my Q to you is, what have you given up that you wish you'd stuck with? Can you take it back up again? How much do you dare me to join some 5th-graders at a ballet class? I wonder if Secret makes a You Failed at Being a Ballerina scent?
