I spilled a bag of peanuts into the dogs' bag of food, so now every meal is packed with peanuts. Kibble really satisfies. And if you think my dogs are persnickety about peanuts in the shell being in their kibble, you must be new.
Anyway, I had been wanting to tell you about going to pet therapy with Faithful Reader Happy, below. (I like how pet therapy is supposed to be for the elderly, and there I was up in some dog's grille. Step aside, old lady. You think you got problems?)
We went on Thursday. I did not bring my dogs, as I did not want to have to explain to any family why gramma turned into Tallulah's afternoon tea.
Scone gramma do be delishus.
Anyway, we had ourselves a time, and one old guy turned out to be a sort-of-famous musician, and I took a movie of him off in the corner playing piano, and when I get time, I will You Tube it and put it up for you.
On Friday, I had dinner with Ned. I know. We talk talk talked, and it must have gone well, because at 3:00 in the morning we found ourselves at the park, sitting on chairs watching the meteor shower. As soon as we sat down, a really dramatic one shot across the sky. "WOW!" we both said, excited for our meteor shower.
Half an hour later, Ned said, "Well, we saw one."
Ten minutes after that, Ned said, "Well, we saw that one. It was a good one."
Finally another meteor shot across.
"Well, that's two."
"Are you going to be the town crier about each star?" I asked him.
A few minutes later, Ned said, "Well, we saw two."
What I am saying to you is, it was not so much a shower as kind of a sprinkle. And nothing makes you feel better than going to sleep at 4:00.
Yesterday, Ned and I scraped my goddamn ceiling, which lemme tell you is a pain in my ass.
Ned was there when the chips were down.
If that weren't lighthearted enough, we went to Lowe's, where no one else was on a holiday weekend, and selected a weed whacker, replacement screening for my door, and bug spray. Because, bugs. Neither of us knows the first thing about replacing a screen, at least we didn't yesterday. Now we're screen experts.
"Today we're going to find out the diameter of your spline, and get some of that," said Ned, just a while ago, and then he said, "You know what I never thought I'd hear myself say? 'The diameter of your spline.' But there it is."
So, obviously Ned and I are spending some time together, and he said if we don't reunite, at least my house will be fixed and my weeds will be gone.
Would you like to know what I am not asking for, here? Advice. That is what I am not asking for. Just keeping you abreast, as it were.
Oh! But I AM asking for advice on this.
How, in the name of all that is fucking sacred, do you change the goddamn light bulbs on this light fixture?
I don't even LIKE this light fixture. Who am I, an old plantation owner, calling in the slaves? Why do I even HAVE this light fixture? Oh, welcome to my carriage house, y'all. Let me get you a julep. What the fuck. And to add insult to injury, I CAN'T EVEN USE IT because the light bulbs are burnt out.
Neither the top or bottom things unscrew in any helpful way, by the by. I have tugged and screwed and pulled and sweated, but enough about reuniting with Ned.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Really. Do you own this light fixture? If so, nice taste. Secondly, what the fuck do you do when you have to change bulbs? Also, I can't get enough of that shape bulb. Oooo, it's a real flame! Your lamp, your Civil War carriage house lamp, is on FI-YA! I'm burning up!
Okay, I'm going. Ned keeps saying we need to "seize the day" and get all this shit done at my house. Seventy times he's said it. Oh, and when he came over to scrape my ceiling yesterday, he said, "So, have you made a plan for how we're going to go about this?"
I blinked at him for awhile. A plan. I shook his hand. "Hi, I'm June. It's so nice to meet you." A plan. So last night, Ned made a list of all the things we have to do today, and I am assuming he is also creating a, you know, plan. I did ask if we had a plan on where we were going to eat lunch when we broke from all the seizing of the day. I thought it was a legitimate question but whatever.
Okay. Here I go.
June, seizing.
