Bye Bye, Pie!

Where June's Weekend Has Sort of a Pall (Mall)

It's Sunday night and I'm at a coffee shop, using their Wi-Fi because of course my house is still in shambles from painting the damn computer room floor, and I have no modem. Before all hell broke loose and I... Read more →

My sweet, round Lily

Godammit, you guys, Lily is missing. How many of these "My pet's gone" posts am I gonna WRITE? She never ever goes outside. Remember once, two years ago, when she ventured out and meowed under a bush in my yard... Read more →

Boom Boom Room

Last night Ned and I went to a strip club, which was my idea, and I already promised MY EDITOR I'd write about it for Purple Clover so I will tell you all about it then. In the meantime, I... Read more →

Call me Ishmael, M'lady

Today at work, we're having a photo sesh, because we're revamping the company website. They've asked me to be one of the people posing for said pictures, and in my mind I had us phonily leaning over the conference room... Read more →

On the grand occasion of Ned's birthday

Once Ned and I were at a restaurant, and it was the kind of seating where there's the long booth against the wall and then little tables, so you think you're sitting alone but really you're just sharing a long... Read more →

Family portrait, take two

Yay! Here they all are, upright this time! You have to click on the picture to see everyone. Still! Sent from my iPhone Read more →

Family portrait

I think this is the only time I captured all four of them on film. I feel like I snapped Nessie or something. Sent from my iPhone Read more →

The one where Ned and June are homeless.

This was Ned's fortune cookie yesterday. "Yeah, no kidding," he said, munching his cookie. I never actually eat the fortune cookie. Do you? Here was mine. Apparently Claude Monet created mine. Anyway, that's nice, right? Although I said to Ned,... Read more →

Our house

got sold. Ned and I can't move in. Read more →

Another sideways picture. How you vex me, iPhone

Tonight I decided to go through old papers and throw out what I don't need. Here's my meal card photograph from when I went to Michigan State in the '80s. I should do that with my hair again. Actually, my... Read more →

June blogs from her phone again. In unrelated news, it sucks.

Well, Ned and I finished our many painful tasks this weekend. I painted the concrete floor, which I will take a picture of, calm down, as soon as I can. It's night now and the pictures won't turn out with... Read more →

Come and knock on our door. Which is in the living room.

I am sitting on the front porch using Siri, so sue me if there are typos in this. Ned is painting the ceiling in the bedroom, and I am about to paint the concrete floor. Last night we took every... Read more →

Uriah Cheep

Yesterday I was still busy being me and my boss, and we have this poor guy we hired to fill in for The Other Copy Editor, who picked this week to quit, and I have said almost no words to... Read more →

June takes the day off

Between showing this house every night (Now TWO people really want it!), scraping the floor after viewers go, doing my boss's job at work and my own, I am hugely tired. Talk amongst yourselves today. Does anyone have any good... Read more →

Joooon Gardens, landlord

What I love about Tallulah is she is unwaveringly enthusiastic about food. I'll bet you can't say that about your dog. Just now she was here on the floor, gnawing at her bone with some kind of tasty crap inside... Read more →

The one where I meander and don't get right to the point

It's hard to get used to how FRICKING CLEAN this house is, in anticipation of the people traipsing through to look at everything. I walk into a room and go, "Oh! Crap, it's clean in here." My Uncle Leo used... Read more →

Eight Ways to Irk June

As I was logging in today, there was an article on the side of the log-in page called something like, "Seven Blogging Mistakes You're Probably Making." Probably rule number one is blogging about what you see on your sign-in page.... Read more →

Mime juice

I tell you what, y'all. Since Friday night, Ned and I have painted my bedroom ceiling, scraped this stupid concrete floor that you know vexes me, washed the curtains--the CURTAINS!!--washed the couch cushions and spot cleaned the whole doggie couch... Read more →

Eye of the Iris

Yesterday I was in the kitchen at work when my phone rang. It was the property manager for that house. "June, I talked to the owner. He's willing to go down on the price AND the pet deposit." You can... Read more →

Oh, and be sure to give me advice. I love that.

You guys, I love that house. I LOVE THAT HOUSE. Love. In case you didn't tune in yesterday, and what's your phony excuse, Ned and I are looking for a place to live. We wanted something big so that his... Read more →

Branch manager

This morning I saw a branch in my driveway. Being a branch manager, I went out to investigate. "Branch manager." How do you stand the hilarity? It turns out a huge part of my cool old tree fell down. We... Read more →

Attack of the blueberry muffin

Isn't it sort of fascinating to see how other people do things? I was just making coffee and thinking about how Ned makes really good coffee. He never really made it at home; he just started doing it because I... Read more →

The one where my dogs deceive me. MY OWN DOGS.

This weekend, Ned and I did absolutely nothing to fix my house up, which we had said we would do every weekend, but basically we both suck. We were planning to paint my fence yesterday, as though we were Tom... Read more →

June Gardens. Card shark.

Yesterday's comments, about the first concert you attended, killed me. I am dead. I am writing from under the grass right now. I am finally sitting down for what feels like the first time in a week, which is stupid,... Read more →

Regular Friday

You know, I think I'm out of Freaky Friday stories. Is there one you sent that I haven't put up? Anyway, I have to get to work early again, but yesterday at work we were all talking about the first... Read more →

Buggin' out

Yesterday I was so busy that I didn't eat anything. Nothing. I drank black coffee all day, like I'm a prima ballerina or Nicole Ritchie. I always hated it when people say they get so busy that they forget to... Read more →

It was the third of June, another sleepy dusty Delta day

I'd like to thank Faithful Reader BStar for reminding me to mention the Billy Jo McAllister song, with which we all became obsessed a few months back. And before I continue, I'd like to ask you, girl, what's happened to... Read more →

June in June

I got paid this weekend, which, wooooo! So I went to the Target, over yonder, and bought me a scale. Yes, there's one at work, but I wanted my own. You know what I like? Is when someone says "own... Read more →

And the Worst Cat Mom award goes to...

Lily was sitting by the back door, looking out the screen. She will not go outside on a bet, but she likes to watch. Without thinking about it, I threw a bathmat back there, aiming for the laundry basket. I... Read more →