Isn't it sort of fascinating to see how other people do things? I was just making coffee and thinking about how Ned makes really good coffee. He never really made it at home; he just started doing it because I need me the caffeine really bad. He'd gotten a coffeemaker before he met me, with the express hope that he'd meet a woman and she'd be a caffeine addict and he'd be at the ready. Which is so Ned.
The point is, I was at his house the other day and I made the coffee. As usual, it wasn't as good. I realized that what he does is put in a careful, measured amount, not too much. A cautious amount. Which is so Ned. Whereas I think, Oh, more is more. Let me put ALL of it it in! If a LITTLE coffee is good, A LOT WILL BE WONDERFUL. I throw everything in there with abandon and it ends up being too much.
Which is so me.
So right now I'm home, waiting for my too-strong coffee to be done.
I am glad yesterday is over, as Mondays are ludicrous for me. I was just telling this to someone in a frantic email that involved TOO! MUCH! INFORMATION! Mondays are trash day, and I almost never remember that it's trash day. Then when I get home at lunch I see all the organized people's cans in their yards and by then it's too late.
Also on Mondays, I have an hour-long conference call meeting at work that I have to recap for my bosses after, and once I wrote it up really funny and my boss's boss went home and read the recap to his family, it was so funny, so now I feel like if I DON'T Shekky Greene my writeup everyone will be disappointed in me.
On top of THAT, my Purple Clover article is due on Mondays, and how often do you think I've already selected a topic and written my article by Monday afternoon? Was your guess "never"? Good work. So Mondays involve me emailing my editor desperately. "How about a nice article on shaving my legs?" "No." "How about a whole I Heart Chocolate thing, written in the voice of Cathy? ACK!" "No."
Finally, he'll approve of something and I have to sweatily write it.
Then at night, I have my student, and I have to show up there with a lesson plan covering our two hours together. How far in advance do you think THAT'S done?
I did see my student last night, and I am not allowed to talk about her, which kills me. She is having love troubles, and her phone rang yesterday and although she did not pick up, the name on the screen was "Bitch Ass." She changed her ex-boyfriend's name so when he calls it comes up as "Bitch Ass." I am so doing that for when Hulk calls.
The good news is that after all that, I went to the grocery store last night to get milk and bagels. Have you guys tried the thin bagels? Because I love them. On the way out, there was the sale table that I should not even gander at, and lo and behold, there were some on-sale muffins that, crap. I had to pick up. They were delicious blueberry muffins with the crusted sugar on top. I ate one on the way home, and all I have to say to you is numnumnumnumnum. I was so happy.
I sat on the couch to watch an old episode of Louis C.K. when
oh.
oh! OY!
I was so fricken nauseated. The rest of the night was not pretty, and I'd better have lost weight, is all I can tell you. I am the only human in time to get poisoned by a muffin. It won't stop me from buying more of them. I'm no quitter.
Today I only have work and yoga in the park with my coworkers and a date with Ned, so. Copacetic.
Explosively,
June
