I'm going to have to resort to using the word redonkulous to describe yesterday's workday, and I wouldn't like me, either. I was so busy, without looking up, ever, and then last night I dreamed the thing I was working on ended up being done in Comic Sans, which is a dreadful font, and I hadn't even noticed.
Not everyone will get the Comic Sans thing, but for those of you who do, you'll be all, "Oh, June. Wow." right now. I feel like Comic Sans is so hated that eventually it'll make an ironic comeback, like carnations and gay people calling themselves queer.
Anyway, as soon as work was done I stampeded to dinner with the Tall Boy.
Ned is not a jealous person and I hate that about him, but just to be a dick, whenever I see the Tall Boy, Ned says, "ReaLLLLLLLy..." in this ridiculous (redonkulous) the-plot-thickens kind of way. Whatever with him.
Anyway, his car is being fixed, the Tall Boy's is--so it can't have baby cars--so I picked him up and took him over to my new house. Unfortunately, with my fine sense of direction, the only way I know how to go to my new house is to pretend I'm going to work, then go to my house from there.
"Didn't you say your new place was on Hoodee-Hoo?" asked Tall Boy, and I picked that house because I so wanted to live on Hoodee-Hoo. It's a very desirable street, in the neighborhood of Ho-De-Ho-De-Ho-De-Oh.
"Yes, but I only know how to get here this way."
"June, we could have been there 10 minutes ago. You should have asked me." So I took On Top of Old Smug-ee to my new place, and he again reiterated that he'd help us move, and I must have been excellent in the sack thre years ago, and anyway we rounded the corner and I said, "So if you know directions so well, how do I get to the restaurant from here?"
"Oh. Well, you should have gone the other direction in front of your house."
So I turned around, and then we started talking, and it turns out Tall Boy is one of those people who are supposed to be giving you directions, but who instead say, "Oh, you should have turned at that last corner." Of course, people who interrupt me to say, "Turn at that next corner" ALSO bug me, so really with me there's no winning.
Four and half centuries later, we got to the restaurant and had to remove our breastplates and codpieces because we were dressed for the wrong time.
Anyway, we had a lovely dinner, and at one point in the deep conversation we decided they should just go ahead and remove the "g" from "highfalutin'," because no one ever uses the g, and to do so would be...highfalutin'. I plan to contact the language people about that forthwith. We also discussed my upcoming party that I am having at my house, in which the theme will be Dress as a Character From a Song. I plan to go as the candy-colored clown they call the Sandman.
It seems like everyone's first instinct is to be The Walrus, so I'll likely have 350 walruses at my party, which is probably what a lot of mermaids say.
Okay, I have to go to work. I hope it's another relaxing, Comic Sans day.
