Look what I did! I set up my computer yesterday, because I am a computer gooo rooo. It only took 53 minutes of talking to someone in India who put "you know" in every sentence. "Now to check your, you know, modem." In fact, I DON'T know. Also, when I just imitated him, in my mind he talked exactly like Apu on The Simpsons.
They always assume, people you talk to about computer things, that you have deep intimacy with things like your "router," and I never know what the Sam Holy Hill they mean.
Anyway, that was relaxing, and it was preceded by an hour and a half of me at the Target trying to find a long enough shower curtain liner, because for some reason our brownish-burgundy bathtub/shower is enormously tall, and the liner hangs there ineffectively, dangling like a misused participle.
Yes, our bathtub is brown. There are brown and tan tiles on the floor that I believe are original to the house, and someone was trying to be matchy. I've never had a brown bathtub before, although once I had a turquoise tub, in Seattle. I lived with my friends in their 1950s house, and the bathroom was unchanged 40 years later. There were swans etched into the shower doors, too, and swans on the pink and seafoam tiles on the wall. Needless to say I effing loved that bathroom.
When they sold it, they updated the bathroom, and I always thought if I were house-shopping, the very first thing I'd love about that house was the swanny pink-and-seafoam tiles. But what do I know?
Oh my god, anyway. So, I shopped for a long shower curtain liner (didn't find one), a bottom-of-the-bathtub grippy thing, a bathroom rug because mine were all turquoise from the last bathroom and we looked like the Grey Gardens sisters with that busy thing on the brown and burgundy tile.
I also got a kitchen rug, for standing in front of the sink. Neither of our kitchens were big enough for one before. Exciting. Oh, and shelf liner! Black and white swirly pattern to match the black and white tiles in there. It's all very exciting. And won't you enjoy my gray gardens roots? Who's had zero time to get her hair done, do you think? I look like Shirley Maclaine when Debra Winger had the cancer in Terms of Endearment.
So, that took an hour and a half last night, and I am just grateful Ned did not join me--he was at Lowe's buying fireplace pokers and so on. And he doesn't even KNOW her. But if Ned had had to decide on rugs and liner and so on, he'd have taken 48 hours. We'd be just like that murder show 48 Hours, particularly when I murdered him for obsessing over which grippy thing to purchase.
And by the way, the new bathroom rug really kind of clashes with the floor. So, we're still Grey Gardens. June and Grey Gardens. How did we ALREADY get it dirty?
The point is, I bought those things and got home and set up my computer so briefly and efficiently, then I had to write this week's Purple Clover. Here's the one that came out yesterday, by the way.
After all that, Ned said, "Have you eaten?" and I had not, which is how I found myself having dinner at 10:30 at night. In short, moving is fun. Did you know I've moved?
I will leave you with one final thought. Edsel. Not a fan of adult time. This morning he actually bounded over his barricade and ran fitfully up here to make sure I was not being murdered.
I was not. And you can imagine how sexy it is to suddenly realize a concerned-looking underbite is looming over you on the bed from out of nowhere. Hot.
Lu not have consern for your sex time. hooo care, what Lu say.
So that's all I have to say about that. Off to work. My commute is now a breakneck five minutes, so I'd better get on it.
Brownly,
June
