Bye Bye, Pie!

I have the feeling Ima be just as annoying in 2015.

It's the end of the year, FYI, and time for my end-of-year veedeo, and you've been around a long time if you know why I say "veedeo." So long, 2014! You weren't all bad. (Click on the white "2014 Be... Read more →

Crap. Forgot a Title.

All if ever does is rain here. I mean, Christmas day was sunny, but that was like 49 days ago, right? I don't even know what day it is, other than we're at that weird purgatory between Christmas and Dick... Read more →

Hey! I have a Dry Idea!

Usually, I purchase some iteration of Secret, any scent but baby powder scent because why do I want to smell like a child molester, but this time I decided to mix it up and get another brand and boy, was... Read more →

True Confessions

Somehow this morning I got on the topic my my gramma's Real Romance magazines and now I'm obsessed. My grandmother had a relatively large house--I mean, it was four bedrooms, and it had an upstairs and a downstairs and a... Read more →

Our national nightmare it over! It's Dec. 26!!

Okay, so Christmas wasn't so bad, after all. Shaddap. I never had time to list more of your good deeds yesterday, as I was, you know, Christmasing, and I think if we do these next year I won't even TRY... Read more →

Sleigh Bells Ring, They're Annoying

My hatred for this holiday has not improved one iota since I experienced World's Busiest Day at Work yesterday ohmygod. We got out of work early, though, and Ryan came and hung out after, and I know you all envy... Read more →

The one where June mentions how she likes it when people say Christmas Eve day

A few weeks ago, my friend Jo borrowed my sari and my wig for a party, and no, I DON'T know what kind of freak-ass parties she goes to. It's my Dress Like an Eastern Indian party! Later, we'll take... Read more →

And THAT is why I don't like Jan

A few weeks ago, I asked you all to give me a story that ended, "And THAT is why I don't like corn." It's an old family joke with Ned's people, in which Ned's brother-in-law just burst out with that... Read more →

Screaming in to say ho. Which is not at all polite and who needs to type better, do you think?

I really meant to type "hi," and my nails have grown too long. I've had a gel manicure on them since Thanksgiving and all of a sudden I'm Cher. Remember how she had the nails? God, I wanted nails like... Read more →

Countdown to January 2

You're going to be mighty impressed, but at my work bowling event last night, I rolled a 66 and a 69. When I got a 69, Ryan said, "That's hot." Mature. My team was named Pinterest and so we all... Read more →

The one where June does her makeup and blogs at the same time. The one where June NEEDS BOTOX SO BAD OHMYGOD.

I went to bed kind of late last night after my office party, not that it went on forever, really, but I got home around 9:00 and then wanted to watch the rest of this old movie I recorded. Dear... Read more →

/

Yesterday, we had our ugly sweater party.brunch at work, and I meant to put a slash there, but that period between the words seems so modern, like I'm creating one of those really stark websites everyone thinks is so cool... Read more →

The only David X Cohen in the book

That's a line from The Way We Were: The only David X Cohen in the book. It's who Barbra Streisand marries after Robert Redford, and really, how do you follow up Robert Redford, especially when you're a stumpy chubby Jewish... Read more →

F

It's Sunday night and I'm bloging now, because I know I have to spend between 8 fucking a.m. and 8:30 fucking a.m. Monday on the phone to my mortgage company, because their fucking website will not work and I can't... Read more →

Soulmate

You know I don't believe in soulmates, but that is because I had yet to meet J. We work together, and she is on the newsletter staff, and I am the proud editor of said staff, so that is how... Read more →

Refridge

Last weekend, when Ned and I were at that on-the-streets Christmas celebration, we went to a store that sells vintage, and right here I'd like to apologize to my friend Kit, because I bought a vintage coat for $45. It's... Read more →

Things I forgot to tell you

Funky Cold Medina was playing while they did my recent biopsy. I mentioned it to the doctor, who said they have an interesting selection of music there. I mean, Funky Cold Medina. Is this really how I want to thin... Read more →

My teeth feel as though they've been wrapped in tight individual nooses

How do you know if you have a sinus infection? Read more →

And that's why I don't like corn.

Once Ned's sister was riding in the car with her husband, in relative silence, when all of a sudden he said, "And that's why I don't like corn." "...You were just having a conversation with me in your mind, weren't... Read more →

June blogs while she waits for her root dye to work

Normal people's hair grows a quarter of an inch per month. Knowing that I had my color done just last month and now there's a considerable white line striping down the center of me like I'm some sort of Dolly... Read more →

Boy, do we heart Christmas

Last night, two people who abhor Christmas got into the car, drove around for 47 hours to find parking, and made their way through a giant, unmoving, germ-infested crowd to see a Christmas tree being lit downtown. "Why did we... Read more →

7 Be the New 30. A guest post by Tallulah Gardens, birthday girl.

Tooday, Lu be seven. She 49 in dog yeer; she same age as mom now. You know what you be in dog yeer? Ded. Also, now Lu supposibly a seenyor dog. What dat meen, seenyor? Do it meen Talu graduate... Read more →

June gets a pap capped in her arse

I don't want you to pace the floors with worry, and end up calling your whole family in for a conference about this, but I stayed home today with a cold. I know. But I'll likely pull through. I also... Read more →

June. Peeping surreptitiously since 2006.

My last post mentioned my good deeds project. If you want to participate, two important things: Read the post before this to participate, and tell me you're in on the project there, not here. You can see only 100 comments... Read more →

Rudolph the Red--Oh, shut up.

(Hey it's June! I wrote this post a few days ago, so if you're reading it now, please note that this page shows only 100 comments at a time. If you want to be in on the good deeds project... Read more →