Someone is almost insisting he have a thick girlfriend. Ned had flowers delivered at my work yesterday AND he got me a Dick Whitman's Sampler. I ate the chocolate messenger boy right away, because, you know. Chocolate messenger boy. If they had candy where one of the pieces was a hot 22-year-old woman, Ned would eat that piece first too, so.
He did not get me a blind cat; she came with the house. He also did not get me a falling-apart ancient table linen that I love. I love it so much I pepper it with cat asses.
While I was writing this, someone came to the door and the dogs' asses fell off because EVERYONE IS AN INTRUDER and then Ned came up here at look!
He got me MORE flowers! Flowers at work and then flowers on the real day! Wow!
I like Valentine's Day.
Last night I made more pumpkin chili, and Ned had to go out in the cold and get another can of pumpkin because the first one was dented, and while I'm perfectly willing to put botulism in my forehead, I did not want it in my gullet. Anyway, it was delicious and I gave some of the dented can of pumpkin to the dogs, which was nice but I KNEW in my heart of hearts it was okay and look, they're still alive.
The point is, afterward we downloaded the movie Frida, which was kind of stupid but fun to look at visually, plus girl on girl with Josephine Baker. You don't see that every day. Chocolate dancer girl.
My question is, for a woman who was super visual, what gives with those eyebrows, Frida? They had to have invented tweezersin the '20s, right? I mean, eventually that whole '30s too-thin-eyebrow thing came in style, but not for Frida.
The best part of this whole scenario is when Ned walked in here with the broom, and just kept sweeping the floor. It's just another day is What is She Up to Now world.
During the whole movie, any time they sat down, Ned would ask, "Is someone going to come over and set down a basket of chips and some salsa?" Oh, he loved himself. "Oh, look, here comes someone with the basket of chips."
MY POINT IS, before we turned on the movie, I told Ned how you guys were all Googling "Bye Bye Pie +" whatever word, and I read him the one where I did an extreme makeover on myself, as opposed to that nice makeover I did right here in this blog today, and I could not read it because I was laughing at myself too hard. I fell over on the couch laughing, and guess who finds me not at all appealing?
It was the where-to-place-foundation part of that post that got me. I don't know what to tell you. I get a kick out of me.
All right, I gotta go. Ned and are headed to a party tonight, and it's black-tie optional, and as we all know, Ned has no ties thanks to my, you know, fit the other day, so we're going out and Ima buy him a tie. Also possibly Ima buy me a dress, as Banana Republic is having a 40% off bananas day or something.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! Oh, I love this holiday.
Insert heart emoticon here, if I were the kind of asshole who used heart emoticons.