Bye Bye, Pie!

June shows you a brassiere. You're welcome.

Lily is giving me the silent treatment. I like how SHE can go away for FIFTY-TWO days, without so much as a warning or a post card, but I go away for three measly days and I'm in the doghouse.... Read more →

Typed while my mother and stepfather watch some sort of network news. You know what I never do?

"June, will you come stand at the basement door while I go down there?" Mom asked. "?" "Because at night I get scared down there. Harry usually does it but since you're here..." Why are children the indentured servant for... Read more →

You know what I had today? Turkey leftovers. Read on for more fascinating facts.

In case you were thinking it was a nightmare to travel on Thanksgiving day, you would be wrong. WRONG! I hope this causes you to hang your head in shame, and perhaps the village will stone you just a little.... Read more →

My Thanksgiving wish for all of us

That people stop using "journal" and "orgasm" as verbs. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE! Luff, Juuuuuune Read more →

Turkey in the straw

I'm hoping for a light day oval pad at work, seeing as it's the day before a holiday. Now that I've said that, of course I will do nothing but run around like I work in an ER without the... Read more →

More of a John Lennon Than a Paul McCartney

Last night, I unpacked my batteries! Clock, back where it was. Well. I haven't unpacked any nails. So "back where it was" is an approximation. Do you know what Ned would do (WWND)? He was the kind of guy who... Read more →

June the liar

Look! Right?! Fewer boxes! Lots fewer! Also... Squeeee! I mean, I still have stuff to do to those shelves, seeing as I got rid of 14,000 books when I moved, took my year abroad. I think I'll move the top... Read more →

June French Presses On

Last night, after I left the Tall Boy and the Naughty Professor, I came home and unpacked. I have these pretty yellow and blue glass dishes from the '40s, and I wanted to place them in the kitchen windowsill. Next... Read more →

Silly String Theory

eyeballs be oberrated. I love how all cats gravitate toward the window from the kitchen to the back room. The fact that their food's there probably helps. Once ALL THESE BOXES get unpacked--what the Christ--I'll have to put something under... Read more →

June discusses dogs

I should really get on trying to grow grass under the enormous tree in my back yard. My new lawn guy says if it snows this year, you put seed down then. He said birds won't get to it and... Read more →

The princess spinster

Twelve. That is how many meals Edsel had in this house before he stopped automatically running to the spot where I USED to put his dish. Twelve. Times. I should do a little experiment now, move Lu's dish and see... Read more →

The one where you say, Is June ever stoic

I know once I announce this, you'll all be gathered around your radios for further developments for the rest of today: I'm getting a cold. Try to carry on as best you can. It's so irritating. I eat right. Why... Read more →

Blue walls and yellow dogs

On yesterday*, Bitchy Resting Face Alex came over and helped me paint. "Helped" is a curious term. I was totally Tom Sawyer in this scenario. *When Marvin was a teacher, every Sunday night at 6:00 the phone would ring, back... Read more →

The one where June gets mad at the British, but not Kate. Kate will always be my boo.

The day Ned and I broke up, which is more than two months ago now, and I know. You're all, "Really? It's been that long already?" Yeah, why don't you go cram something in your nethers. I've felt every nuance... Read more →

Can o'snake ass

Oh, look! We still have boxes in here! How do, like, Army people do this, where they move all the ding-dang time? It's so taxing. But it really is nice to be here, at home, rather than a whole 'nother... Read more →

June is home, and making poop jokes

Hey, what do you think?! I moved the office ("office." Pfft.) into the back room. I thought I'd keep the boxes exactly like this forever. It's a good look. And apparently there is a NEW dog in the adjoining yard... Read more →

Moving out today

The movers will be at my old house, the one I shared with Ned, in less than an hour. My car is packed, and I'm sitting on Kaye's couch with a cup of coffee. I'm trying to think of things... Read more →

In pink, sparkly memory

My friend died. I just found out. It's weird; today at work I had a weird feeling about her, so I Googled her. I just had this feeling she was dead. And she was. I met M in 1997? '98?... Read more →

When Irish June is smiling. Ish.

When we last left off, I'd been out dancing with Marty Martin, and really, what more can you ask for in a weekend? Nevertheless, I persevered. On Saturday, I took myself downtown to do some shopping and general hanging around.... Read more →

Toot toot, heyyy, beep beep.

Yesterday at work, one of the coworkers sent an email to a bunch of us. "Anyone up for going to happy hour after work, for a bit?" I immediately screamed back an email: "GOD ,YES." An hour later, that same... Read more →

June discusses cell phones and also Henry's feets

You know, I think this current design of my blog is the longest I've kept one look going. The woman who designs it seems to not do TypePad-related work anymore, so I sometimes cursorily look for a new designer, then... Read more →

June and her mustard-yellow phone

My laptop is out of power again, so I am blogging you from my telephone. I just cracked myself up imagining me speaking into the big mustard-yellow telephone from my youth, the one with the twisty cord that I would... Read more →

Aw, crap

Since moving up to The Guest Room at Kaye's Bed and Breakfast [Note to Kaye: Where the fuck has breakfast been?], I've discovered this treasure trove of "books for guests" that Kaye has left here on the bedside table. I'm... Read more →

Mrs. Paul's Fish Sticks. Does Yours?

Angry selfie I'm living on the idea that you're regularly consulting your June's Calendar of Events, and therefore you are completely aware that all month, I've been staying at Kaye's house, and Kaye has, in fact, not been here. Unless... Read more →

So wonderful it needs its own post

June's Coworkers' Senior Picture Poses My coworker Megan-Austin. It totally rocks to work with art people. Oh my god. (Thanks, Smithey!) Read more →

The (wo)man upstairs

I know you've thought of little else since we last spoke, so I'll tell you right off the bat that I love the new deodorant. June gives it two pits up. And by "pits," I don't mean Tallulah. I'm writing... Read more →