Bye Bye, Pie!

The one where June convinces self that 2016 will be HER YEAR! The one where June does that every year, and look how 2015 turned out.

Here we are, at the end of this damn year. On New Year's Eve of last year, Ned and I got into a fight, and I spent the entire night in my room, crying, with a bottle of wine. I... Read more →

Don't be rash

I just used the new shampoo and conditioner that my aunt sent me--it's fancy stuff--and then when I emerged from the shower, I said. "What's that red dot on my arm? ...Hey, what's that other red dot on my arm?"... Read more →

When Captain Howdy doesn't think you're pretty

This morning, I was making the coffee and the cats were in their little window, meowing for food, while the dogs moaned at their dishes like I never feed them. "You know," I said, and whenever I try to reason... Read more →

June will not say something tired like haters gonna hate.

Good hair day yesterday. ...Oh, look. A pet in the background. I've been blogging now for nigh on nine years. I have no idea what "nigh on" means. Does it mean "almost"? Because that would be inaccurate; it's now more... Read more →

The pot returns

When we last spoke, it was Christmas--and you know how I love it, give me Christmas 40 times a year. At any rate, I was blogging at you and everything was copacetic till the phone rang. It was Ned. Dun... Read more →

Joueux Noel. Or, June gets pretentious with her holiday greetings.

I wasn't gonna blog today, but then I figured someone out there desperately wants distraction from his or her family, so here is my gift to you. I spent Christmas alone today, but don't feel sorry for me. It was... Read more →

Old crow

It's been cloudy and rainy and ridiculous for days, and my floor back here is all muddy despite wiping these damn eight dog feets every time they come in. Note: Get mud entrance rug, for god's sake. The point is,... Read more →

And the winner is, MISS GARDENS! ...Wait.

It was busy as all get-out yesterday at work, which annoys. Isn't it supposed to be a good cheer, smoke myrrh, get gift baskets and enjoy the holiday week kind of a week? Dang. When I wasn't slaving at work,... Read more →

Patience is a virtue. Seersucker is a fabric.

I woke up at 4:30 with a migraine, which was super relaxing. Dragged self out of bed, which I just wrote as "Dragged self out of Ned" FOUR TIMES, hello Freud, and took my meds. So now I'm groggily up,... Read more →

June takes herself out. Nothing happens.

I haven't blogged at you because my weekend has been pretty much all statistics, all the time. In case anyone's worried sick, I'm on page 285 now. Only 215 pages to go! Kill me now. No, kill me after I've... Read more →

Death and sex and Walmart

I got this envelope in the mail yesterday: "Death benefit AND Walmart gift certificate enclosed!" it read on the outside. Well! Thanks! I abhor the march of time. And the March of Dimes. Dimes don't even have legs. Also, I... Read more →

If you liked it than you shoulda put a...oh, put this.

Today is my department's annual ugly sweater and breakfast, and I am cooking sausage biscuits. And by "cooking sausage biscuits," I mean I'm throwing some frozen sausage biscuits in the oven in 10 minutes. I had originally signed up to... Read more →

Cordless mouse

I was at work, minding my own business, which you know is never really true, but I was at least mostly minding my own business when I heard a shriek in the other room. In our office's open floor plan,... Read more →

June's end-of-the-year video

In order to avoid proofreading my statistics textbook, I made this end-of-year video this weekend, as I am wont to do at the end of every year. But I just noticed 24 people have already looked at it on YouTube,... Read more →

The one where we're all sorry we had freaking question day 264 days ago.

I may or may not have given Lu a Tostito the other day. Behold her crunchy face. She wants you all to know she is delighted that such a flattering photo is going on the Internet. Lu is not allowed... Read more →

More of your questions answered. Good gravy.

On Saturday, I had Ask June Anything Day, and yesterday I started answering the many pressing questions of your time. On today, I will answer more. Yes, I just said "on today." Mary Ellen from Napa asked, Do you think... Read more →

Your questions answered. My textbook procrastinated.

A real grownup, such as, say, my stepfather, would have gotten up early and done today's statistics textbook proofreading already. However, hello. Have we met? I stayed up till 1:30 and just crawled out of bed. Now I'm blogging at... Read more →

Ask June Anything Day

I spent much of last night working on my statistics textbook, and I am doing so again today. I can't even remember what I charge these people, but I keep adding up what I at least must be making so... Read more →

Edsel gets daring

Every morning, I get up, let the dogs out (who, who, who?), make coffee and feed the pets. No matter how far back in the yard they are, the dogs hear their food hit the bowl. Dogs have good hearing,... Read more →

Wordless Wednesday, mostly because overslept

Here, she says, using words. Here's what I took photos of yesterday. Go ahead and guess what I did all day. Read more →

June Gardens, master of the sky

"I know I'm supposed to be embracing technology and all that, but this coming year, I'm getting a calendar again. Like a regular hang-on-the-wall calendar. I missed approximately 259 birthdays this year. And appointments! I missed appointments. I hate phone... Read more →

The one where June had to get to work early

I didn't have time to blog today, but Faithful Reader LaUral sent me this list of funny things you can ask Siri. Well, first she sent me a whole email talking about a bunch of things, but it started off,... Read more →

Dancin' with Myself

On Saturday night, I had an "I'm gonna die alone" party. What I enjoyed were the people who need to get on Amazon and maybe buy a sense of humor. "Oh my goodness, that's awful! Why would you have a... Read more →

June shows you her steeple

Tallulah has gas. hooo care, mom. gazz do be happen. Ima guess it's because of her antibiotics, unless she's ordering takeout while I'm at work, which I would not put past her. Last night, I was trying to read before... Read more →

14 joys and a will to be merry

Last night, I was in my green chair reading, and when I looked up, there was my Lily, looking all regal. I took her photo, as is evidenced by Exhibit A, there, above me, and put it on Facebook. "You... Read more →

June has phat time at work Xmas party

When Naughty Pro came to get me to go to my Christmas party, I was completely unready. "I'M SO ALMOST READY!" I lied. Back when I lived in Seattle, my friend Marianne used to come over every Saturday morning to... Read more →

Where June somehow mentions Princess Di, human trafficking and QVC in one post.

At work, a bunch of us are doing Dresscember, which is this challenge where you wear a dress every day in December, even on your ding-dang days off, as kind of a fundraiser to say, hey, I hate human trafficking.... Read more →