Bye Bye, Pie!

June sees an abusive boy; goes Pit on his ass. Story at 11:00.

Edsel and I had kind of an upsetting night last night, and I just inexplicably typed his name "Edseul." He's now phoreign. That's "foreign" with an underbite. We were on our regularly scheduled walk, and does your dog lose his... Read more →

How many of them hormone pills you been takin', honey?

The dog and Lily are on their needy chair, Iris is meowing to go out because busy season, so all is right with the world, other than the part where I just said, "the dog." Singular. The dog. I don't... Read more →

The state of things

You know what's gonna happen today? No one will comment. That always happens after a 200- or 300-comment day; it's like you're all so exhausted. "Oh my god, I just wrote 15 words to June yesterday. I'm all in." Did... Read more →

Served by Mr. Salty and Buddha

There're a brief few days every spring where Peg's dogwood meets my redbud across our driveways, kind of a Hands Across America of blossoms, and it's so pretty, but it's been so cloudy that I wasn't able to capture it... Read more →

The Saturday that feels like Sunday

If you're a parent, lemme just ask you something hypothetically. Let's say you're, oh, to throw a scenario out there, at Target with your kid on a busy Saturday afternoon. Let's say your kid is crying loudly in the cart,... Read more →

You'll never guess what Ima write about

Well. It's over. If you're my Facebook friend you'd have no way of NOT knowing this, as I think I updated my status 3949943 times yesterday. And it's way awfuller than I thought it would be. I mean being my... Read more →

My sweet Tallulah, who was often not remotely sweet.

Tomorrow, Wednesday, is Tallulah's last day. Her nights are always restless now, and there are other details about her health that I will spare you. Today she's gonna go to dog daycare, a thing I can ill afford at present,... Read more →

June is in a sparkling mood

My mood is sparkling. Did I mention that? My computer has been a DICK all weekend, and I hate everything right now. This is my third attempt at writing something, and we'll see if it even sticks. Did I mention... Read more →

Black lab

I schlepped my ass all the way to the doctor this morning for some labs, because yes, my doctor is giving away free Labs, and you know if that were true I'd go. No. I was supposed to have labwork... Read more →

Literally wearin' the green

Aye! See, I want to talk Irish to you but I keep sounding like a pirate. Ahoy! It's St. Patrick's Day, matey! Arrrrrr! As I told you yesterday, with my cliffhanger headline, my Aunt Mary sent me a box of... Read more →

I didn't even get to tell you that my aunt sent me a box of pants

I saw the Snowflake children. If you're a longtime reader of this blog, and really? You poor thing. Has your family told you you can't mention me anymore? Anyway, if you are, you'll remember three very loud, very blonde children... Read more →

June accidentally records her life. As opposed to this tome.

I was just uploading photos from my phone onto my computer mom boreeng and I saw among the photos a video on there that was half an hour long. "?" I asked myself. seer y uslee, we so ober this... Read more →

Let's ear it for the boy

Every time I woke up last night, there was an ear in my face. I'd usually kiss it, because big velvety Edsel ear, and then try to, you know, sort of tuck it under my face. Then I'd wake up... Read more →

Silent Saturday (I'll update with new pictures all day. Lucky you.)

June meets Jackie

I have the most exciting news possible: I have gaybors! I just met them! And by "them" I mean one of the gaybors and his dog. Which is how I met them. And by "them" I mean--okay, I'll stop. I... Read more →

This day is ridik

No time to blog today. Tell me... Your favorite smell Your favorite color About your favorite person Smell ya. (See what I did, there?) Read more →

Why so chubby, Big Cheesecake?

Oh my GOD, why do I have all these pets? The second the alarm went off, Tallulah started groaning, and how bad do you feel hitting snooze and making cancer dog wait. So I got up. So then the cats... Read more →

Hag

Enclosed please find one photo of my fairly absurd coworker, who Ima go ahead and call Texas Pete. He may or may not be a fan of hot sauce. The jury's out. Yesterday was a ridiculous day, which Ima tell... Read more →

June drinks wine and blogs

I have to drive my car to the fix-my-car place, get it inspected, the oil changed, the taillight fixed and possibly have those eyelashes put on the headlights the way some people do, and because of all that, I gotta... Read more →

June shows you all her chores, big and small. June is a riveting individual.

I got up this morning, swept 950 pounds of pet hair, then started noticing all the things I wanna do around here. I photographed them for your viewing pleasure. Or, alternatively, your viewing boredom. I see that the camera chose... Read more →

I don't know if you know that much about life if you think "lifeclass" is one word

Yesterday morning I had to dig in my bathroom trash for the old empty deodorant I'd thrown away, and desperately scrape what was left on myself because guess who forgot to buy more. There goes my mother in my head:... Read more →

Her self-regard was a tad misguided

Enclosed please find a video of Tallulah, the most stubborn cute dog in the world. Minutes before, she'd been moaning at me to go out, and when I lugged my day-at-work, half-hour-of-Tracy-Chapman, 10,000-steps-on-top-of-that self off the couch, she didn't want... Read more →

Boo

Didn't you think everyone's death stories yesterday were fascinating? I did. I wonder who I'll bug after I'm dead? Probably all of you. What's that behind you? Also, I just noticed my Cheerios are being touted as "gluten free." Oh... Read more →

Death stories. Because this is a happy place.

I woke up with a migraine today and dragged self to work because trouper. So since I'm barely alive, let's tell death stories today. Yesterday at work, during our 3 o'clock walk, we were telling stories of weird things that... Read more →