I got a lot accomplished this weekend, and by "accomplished," I mean I watched 10 hours of the new season of Orange is the New Black. I'm kind of disappointed in myself that I didn't get all 13 episodes in, but you know, you do what you can to accomplish your goals and if you fall a little short, you reward the effort, not the failure.
I should totally make those awful inspirational posters for work. Like, with a picture of an eagle in flight.
BINGE WATCHING
Reward the effort. The effort of moving less than someone in a coma. All weekend.
Anyway I was toiling away at work on Friday when I remembered it was my BIG DAY, my day that OITNB was coming back. Oh, I was excited. I got everything done as fast as I could and sneaked out of there early.
Rebel, rebel, you tore your dress.
But I had to do a bunch of stupid STUFF before I could commence watching, and how ANNOYING.
Things like give my stupid animals stupid FOOD, which, really? Can't you order in? Orange is back. Orange is the new back.
Goddammit, Lottie. I gots no TIME for you to eat the cat food. MY PRISON SHOW IS JUST WAITING FOR ME. You get the trots, you're on your own. Cause m'show.
JEEEESUS, it's practically SATURDAY by now.
I also had to let their stupid asses OUT so they could PEE, which actually probably happened before they ate, but what do you want from me? I downloaded a shit ton of animal pics to my desktop just now. IT'S HARD.
Lottie needs to figure out those ears, man. Like, pick a direction already.
All I wanted--ALL I WANTED--was to have a nutritious slow-cooked dinner and watch my show. Stupid life. Stupid responsibilities.
Then I had to walk the goddamn dogs. Who INVENTED this life? If I were one of those hairless-homed people with zero pets, I'd already have been heavily into episode one. Probably already gotten to see some prison titties. But no.
And walking in such an orderly manner, thanks to June's Iron Fish of Discipline.
Goddammit. FIST. Not June's iron fish. What even is that, even?
Lottie needs to figure out those ears. Did I mention? Say, I know when she could do it. HOW ABOUT WHILE I'M WATCHING ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK?
Son of a...fuck YOU, Tracy Chapman! Fuck you all to fuck.
Finally, FINALLY, I could watch my show, and YES I DOWNLOADED A NETFLIX, KAYEEEE. I don't even care. It's my show.
Fortunately, the rest of my cast members participated in my binging. My pets: enabling me since 2016.
In summation, I watched a lot of TV this weekend. And I'd like to thank the reader who sent me that TV when I moved in here. THANK YOU, reader! You are a good person, and I am able to isolate like a DEMON with that TV.
I gotta go work now, but I need some help with an article I'm writing. It's about how we aren't grownups anymore. Like, where did all the Walter Cronkites go?
I have some good examples, mostly having to do with what idiots we are about politics now (yes, coming up with a brilliant name such as "Obummer" is so much more effective than discussing the issues we disagree on) and about the delightful men I've met online. (And my example in the article is actually about how idiotic Trump protesters are being, in case you think I'm being one-sided.)
But what else? Can you think of other examples? THANKS!
Responsibilityuns,
June
