So how is everyone?
I know most of you saw this already on Facebook, but here. Here is a snapshot of my life, below, except it's a five-second veeeedeo of my life, but still.
So that's how I'm doing. In case you wondered.
There seems to be a lot of speculation about my love life, and frankly it's getting on my nerves. So here's everything that's up lately, okay?
I am not back together with Ned. Ned is not in my bed. That is why I TOLD you that story, because it was poignant that Ned was not in my bed. Ned will not magically change and become all the things I need my person to be, so there is no Ned.
In fact, the last time I spoke to Ned, I told him the most loving thing he could do for me was to let me be. Let me pursue the things I need, like, oh, someone who wants to marry me. And he can pursue whatever the fuck it is he wants. (Still angry, June? Oh, perhaps.)
And I don't even know that I want marriage. I really love living alone. But I guess I want to know my person would marry me if he had the chance. I told Ned I wanted to marry him, and asked him how that made him feel, and he said, "It makes me feel like (gasp) 'Oh GOD!'" in the kind of voice you'd have if someone handed you a bouquet of snakes.
I want someone to be devoted to me, and me to him, and not be spending my time wondering if he's off doing things that would make me feel bad if I knew about them. When I was with Marvin, I never worried. I never caught Marvin in a single lie. I knew he was good. But it annoyed me to live with him. Too many black cords in perfectly good kitchen drawers.
So, I guess at this point, my ideal would be a relationship where I get to live here, he gets to live nearby, we see each other most nights, we know we're in it till we're dead, and maybe one day we get married, but that's not as important as the feeling that yep, here's my person. And I can trust him. I can set it and forget it. I don't have to feel sick and scared about what Ima find out about next.
That's what I want right now.
And yes, I am dating people. I've met one person who is older than me, one person who is younger than me. Please refer to my psychic reading in January. Her timing was off. She said I'd be through with Ned in February, I'd be glad he was gone, and I'm still not there yet.
She said in the spring I'd be seeing someone older than me, and someone younger.
So, heh. Yeah.
But see, I didn't really want to go into that, because I didn't want anyone to feel bad. Which is why I was trying to keep it private-ish. It's hard to have a blog, where you talk about your life, and keep some parts not so public. But I was trying, Lord, I was trying.
And no to your other question. I have not slept with anyone since Ned.
So now you know everything.
Oh, also? We have had just one accident in three--or four??--days in this house, and that was cause I had to go really bad. Bah.
The reason there was one accident was because there was a Busy Bone incident where Edsel attacked poor sweet Lottie, and the only time I ever think of her that way is when she's under the tooth of Edsel. God, he's awful sometimes. When Lu was alive, all she'd do is just take good things like Busy Bones. She'd take them both, put them in her mouth at the same time like that one picture with all the cigarettes in that guy's mouth.
Do you know what picture I'm talking about? It's an old photo. Can't find it. Crap.
The point is, she never attacked Edsel, not once. She just took things brattily.
Anyway, he was biting Lottie, Edsel was, and she cut her poor puppy eye, and she peed because she was scared.
Here she is right now, sniffing Lily, and you can see her little cuts. Well, you can see one of them. Poor sweet puppy.
Scritches on her nose. Edsel is terrible. I'm actually not sure those scritches aren't from cats, actually. But I know the eye came from Edsel. Lottie is everyone's punching bag. Lottie often deserves it. But not over a Busy Bone.
Anyway, that's when she peed. I'd have peed, too, if something twice my size were attacking me. Well. If something...
Oh my god, maths. She weighs 34 pounds. Edsel weighs 48 pounds. How much bigger is Edsel? Show your work.
I have to go. I have to get to work. Try not to bite anyone's eye today.
Luffff,
Joan
