Bye Bye, Pie!

Party in a paper

"Did you ever take an actual copyediting class?" my boss asked me, and not in a mean way. We were talking about what we studied in college, and did it have anything to do with what we did for a... Read more →

I hate it when I forget a title

I'm having a smoothie. It's migraine-diet approved. It involves frozen strawberries and blueberries, yogurt and milk and flaxseed, plus also special guest star: banana. This diet is a pain in my ass, because it involves not eating at the salad... Read more →

Who you voting for? BE NICE.

My stupid computer is acting wonky, like Iris's eye, and now it's 8:23 and I'm just commencing to typing. So since I have to GO now, and THANKS, Internet, let's just ask... Who you voting for? For president, smarty. And... Read more →

Mrs. Robinson has a weekend

This weekend, I saw the most beautiful man I've ever seen, surprised Marty Martin, entertained my Aunt Mary, and saw my friend Marianne. It was a very M weekend. So, my aunt and uncle have been here since Wednesday, and... Read more →

The headache study

Yesterday, I drove to--oh holy shit what the hell is this? Why. Why did the strike-thru key get depressed before I even got here? It's got the world by the tail! What's to be depressed about? So, I'm sitting here... Read more →

Decaf June

I'm sitting here with my WATER, trying to drum up any personality with which to write you. Mostly, my personality is caffeine. Without it, you get this. Today I drive to damn Chapel Hill, and insert some sort of joke... Read more →

June. No longer a Bug. Now more of a Mini. A chubby Mini.

When I woke up yesterday, I did not know I'd be buying a car. But there it is. Now my life is officially a country song: the man I loved done left, m'dog died, and my VW Bug up and... Read more →

Age/state/sex/kids/sass/crunch.

Yesterday, I got interviewed about my writing, because hashtag SoFamous, and the interviewer (pfft. My coworker, Austin) asked me about the "sassy Midwestern moms" who read my blog. Hunh. "Actually, I'm big in Texas and Florida," I told him. And... Read more →

June tells you what she ate. Riveting.

Because you know how linear I am, I'll describe my weekend for you, Friday through Sunday, and how long do you give me to screw that up? Does it bug you, you Tidy Tess types, when I'm all over the... Read more →

You wrote it you watch it

The other day, my friend Paula came to town, and I've referred to it so often now that you're probably expecting her to have a Pope hat. Paula was my coworker in Seattle, then my friend in Seattle, then my... Read more →

June talks. People ignore.

Yesterday, my friend Paula came to town, because of course Heart was playing somewhere in North Carolina, and you know how she follows around the band Heart. Big Book of June Events. Page 167. You also know (BBoJE page 796)... Read more →

Post-Botox Edition

Woke up, got dressed, got Botox, went to the pharmacy for more migraine drugs and cough medicine, mailed my Stitch Fix rejects and came home and washed the floors and changed the litterboxes and threw in laundry and cleaned my... Read more →

June says hello, runs away

Have the day off, have a migraine of course, and now I'm on my way to get Botox. When I return I will blog at you. Read more →

Her-dy-GERD-y

Here is what Edsel has done every morning of his damn life: He bounds out of bed, tears down the hall, and bursts out the back door. I open the big back door quickly and he uses his head to... Read more →

Our Lady of Perpetual Calendars

I'm having some Greek honey yogurt with some almonds, and every time I eat Greek yogurt I feel like I'm eating just a teensy piece of Faithful Greek Reader Fay. Look how this blog has affected my life. When we... Read more →

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday

Yes, I'm posting on Saturday. Hello! {hello hello hello hello} Echo! {echo echo echo echo} I don't know why I bother. But hello, one and a half people who are homebound for whatever reason. I guess now that it's half... Read more →

Shaved her legs and then he was a she

I think I've told you that for six months, I'm part of a headache study. I'm studying to get better at my headaches. Bah. Last month, I schlepped over to Chapel Hill to walk up a mountain to go to... Read more →

Go ahead, use me to smear your Ten-O-Six Lotion on yourself.

Today I had to shower with cotton-scented hand soap. I smell like a big cotton ball. Mmmmmm. Yesterday I managed to use the last sliver of real soap till it literally washed away, and I told myself, "Don't forget to... Read more →

June and the lesbian kitten

Here's my problem. (I act like I have only the one.) I get bored, then I set up too much stuff in my life, then I get overwhelmed at the chaos and cut stuff out, and then I get bored... Read more →

June's kitten photojournalism

Oh my god, Hazel is impossible to photograph. She never stops running around like a chilly fool. Until she's exhausted, and then she crawls up on your neck and purrs, and you can't photograph something on your neck. Here she... Read more →

June gets drunk, spends night with Ned, acquires kitten. Other than that, quiet weekend.

On Friday, we got out of work at 3:00, which is always exciting. A big crap ton of us, and I think it was Jackie Kennedy who invented the term "crap ton," got together after work to say goodbye to... Read more →

Stampeding for pasties

Mercury is in retrograde, did you know? That means--and I know this because I lived in LA for 10 years, so I'm an expert in all things weird--that communication gets slowed down or misunderstood or convoluted, somehow. So hree d... Read more →