The jig is up: I'm going to Michigan this weekend, and then again in November. Dear Person I Am Not Related To Who is in Michigan: No, probably not, re seeing you. When I DO get there, I get booked with family things pretty fast.
This coming weekend is what would have been my grandmother's 100th birthday, so my family is having a celebration for her, and I really hope my cousins are reading this because I'm about to say that as gramma's favorite, I really wanted to be there.
But what my mother didn't know is I'd secretly planned to go to Michigan in November for my mother's 70th birthday, so I didn't think I could do both.
Oh, I was being stealthy about my mother's birthday. I was having clandestine talks with my stepfather, which is nearly impossible because land line, no Facebook, shared email account. How do either of them have affairs?
One time I was talking to my stepfather about my plans and in walked my mother. "Well, I hope you feel better," he said. He's a doctor. It would be not unlike me to be calling him for medical advice. "Oh, that was good, Harry!" I said.
Nevertheless, somehow she figured it out.
Goddammit.
That still didn't solve the fact of two trips to Michigan in one month + June's income = sad. I told all this to Ned when I saw him at the old movie theater when I went to see Carrie the other night. Of course he was there. I figured he would be.
The next morning I got an email from him with an itinerary. "You're leaving for Michigan Saturday morning, returning Monday. Can you take Monday off?"
Ned. Not the worst ex-boyfriend anyone ever had.
So that's exciting. Now I'm laundering everything so that I don't have to wear a robe all weekend. I know I just said I had to launder everything the other day. Hashtag one load of the really popular stuff four days ago.
This whole time I've been talking to you, Iris has been in the window meowing at me for no reason. I mean, I'm certain she thinks she has a reason. But I assure you she does not.
Perhaps she's protesting this sitch in general.
Anyway, so I'm off. Tomorrow night I have a little cocktail party to attend and then Saturday morning I get on a plane and see my people. My cousin Aunt Katie the Lesbian won't be there--she has to work. She's a nurse. They work a lot.
I wonder if she can get a medical team together to take care of this nose? Oh, dear god, my nose. I hate it so.
I gotta go to work, as I am wont to do. I have negative $63 in checking, so I'm not at all excited about payday tomorrow. Payday? Eh. Take it or leave it. I've got my negative sixty-three dollars. (I keep forgetting I have savings. Oh, good! I'm not as destitute as you'd think.)
Okay, I'm off. What are you gonna do this weekend? Other than pester me because you're only 93 miles from Saginaw and we went to junior high together so wouldn't I have time to get in the car to meet up with you while I'm home for 48 hours.
XO,
Jooom
Jooom. Goddammit.
