Bye Bye, Pie!

Does my new blog design go with these shoes?

I make the same kind of joke every time I get a new design, don't I? And actually, this one isn't done yet; we're still gonna update a few things here and there. Pretty, though, right? Remember when it was... Read more →

June kvetches. How many posts start with that?

"That Santa is out in front of The Friendly Center," announced Ned on the phone. The Friendly Center is this outdoor shopping place that's probably been around since the '50s, and they keep adding elaborate stores like Apple and Anthropologie.... Read more →

Coffee break

"How rich was Mr. Howell, do you think?" I asked Ned. He was helping me do things, miserable things, around the house. "Really rich," said Ned. "In the opening credits, they called him The Millionaire. ...Of course, if he was... Read more →

If you do not enjoy the F word, this is not the post for you

How long do you allow between coats of paint? I'm painting my windowsill today, and please to enjoy my fine photo of the windowsill. It's like you're right here with me. If you had glaucoma. I just finished it at... Read more →

Cat on a cold tile roof

(June blogs = you have something to read = avoid your families) Last weekend, I was helping Ned change his sheets because I ...sprinted over there. You know I like to do an early-morning long run on weekends. Actually, we... Read more →

June runs late. Paula feels tense.

I have no idea how I ran so late today, but here it is. I was gonna tell you all about Ned letting me watch the Real Housewives reunion at his house last night, seeing as I heroically got rid... Read more →

A 51-year-old woman complains bitterly about cat food. Which is not at all sad.

One of you was nice enough to send me a few cases of canned kitten food, which when I think about it musta cost a pretty penny and thank you again. The good news is that Steely Dan just loves... Read more →

On the third day she rose again

On Thursday, I went to work like a normal person, and got m'roots done after. That was the last time I was living like regular folk. I woke up in the middle of the night with a raging migraine, and... Read more →

The house began to pitch. And I'm a bitch.

"Marvin's getting married this weekend," I told Ned, "I feel nothing." "See? That, right there. That scares the SHIT outta me. What if one day, after all this, you feel nothing for me?" I knew Ned was pointing at me... Read more →

Retro June

Yesterday at work I went back to copy editing. I asked if I could do so some months ago, and they said okay, but you have to wait till we get other editors in here, so I waited, and then... Read more →

The mother and childish reunion

In a fit of fiscal responsibility, I canceled my cable about a week ago, and then last night I realized I was gonna miss the intellectually stimulating Real Housewives of Orange Country reunion special. I wasn't even gonna see Ned... Read more →

For six nights in a row

SCREEEEEEEEECH! That's what woke me up this morning, a few minutes before my alarm: SCREEEEEEEEECH! "That's actually coming from outside my head," I realized, and then I wondered if someone was being murdered. Exciting! "Coooo! Cooo! Cooooo!" I heard then,... Read more →

Wordless Weekend: June returns, puts up vacation photos. You're welcome.

Break on through to the other side

Do you remember a few years ago when I had everyone write in something nice about the other side? I'm talking politically. The other side of wherever you are. We're gonna do that again today. Have you ever been so... Read more →

I really thought y'all were gonna write my name in

What I'm not going to do? Drone on about politics when half of you feel one way, half feel the opposite. Here I am, stuck in the middle with you. What I am going to do? Make you hear about... Read more →

Dewey Defeats Truman

I gots to go. I have to get in the car, drive to freaking Raleigh, get on a plane and fly to Michigan. I'm running for president and thought I'd better get on the campaign trail. That would so be... Read more →

Return of the Ned. Maybe.

Here's something I've told almost no one. I officially moved out of Ned's house on November 11 last year. Our deal was I'd do it while he was at work. I ended up running late. I had the last load--aka... Read more →

"I Supervised June." A scathing guest post by my boss, fmr.

When I first became June’s boss, she brought up the idea of me writing a guest post for her blog—a whole “I Supervised June” thing. I said sure. Now I’m not her boss, and I have time to write the... Read more →

When you're telling people off in your head

Couldn't sleep. I was up all night YELLING AT PEOPLE IN MY MIND and then I fell asleep at like 5 a.m., of course. I will write tomorrow when I'm not YELLING AT EVERYONE IN MY MIND. XO, Joon Read more →

Here come ol' flattop

I just spent forever waiting for my toast to pop up outta my Hello Kitty toaster, and as soon as I gave up and sat down here, it popped. Goddammit. Anyway, thanks for your comments yesterday, and to those of... Read more →

Lily meowed the whole time I wrote this. Annoy.

Having a kitten isn't as much fun as they tell you it's gonna be. I'd like to speak to the manager (swings horseshoe hair). Anyway. Why would you even WANT to attack the paper towel roll? At least it wasn't... Read more →

The Most Interesting Woman in the World. Pfft.

You may not have noticed, but yesterday was Halloween. Well, it was. Sorry if it slipped your radar. Anyway, several of my coworkers dressed as Griff, my curmudgeonly coworker. They all have his best sayings on a stick, plus they... Read more →